Vanessa The Scientist

Could You Maybe Have Chosen A Gentler Way To Tell Me That I Suck

2010-01-26T22:33:00.005-07:00

Have you ever been playing Rock Band when a bird suddenly flew in the house and crapped on the drum set? Funniest. Thing. Ever.

I think it was trying to tell me something about my drumming. Jerk.

According To My Calculations

2010-01-18T22:38:00.005-07:00

Pizza + Chocolate Covered Pretzels + Pride and Prejudice + Mr. McHotStuff = "This has got to be freaking dream. Please no one ever wake me up."

(ed note: He made me watch The Hangover so I countered with Pride and Prejudice)

BLUE

2010-01-17T15:25:00.003-07:00

I received my blue belt advancement in Jujitsu yesterday! I'm so incredibly proud of this. It took alot of time with very patient instructors and grappling partners. It just feels like I really accomplished something. The crazy thing is that I'm still in the very beginning stages of my Jujitsu knowledge. There's still purple and brown belts to aspire to until you can receive your black belt. The black belts that I have the privilege to know are capable of some major ass-kickery. I want to get there very, VERY badly. More mat time and an awesome Professor to teach me will definitely get me there.

We Have Come A Long Way

2010-01-17T12:05:00.003-07:00

It's incredible that we can go from this...

To this...

Wiping some dust off of an old classic. I can't remember the last time that I've been this excited for a movie to come out. Oh man, it looks SO GOOD! And in order to celebrate its release I'm going to use the phrase, "Release the Kracken" or mention a Kracken in a conversation daily.

I wonder what the cinema will have in store for us in another 30 years. Interactive movies perhaps? Oh boy, I would pay obscene amounts of money to go to an interactive movie where I could touch Ryan Reynolds' chiseled chest. Just kidding, I wouldn't. Fine, I totally would.

Too Tired to Think of a Clever Title for This Randomness

2010-01-14T21:20:00.006-07:00

Diet 7-Up gives me the hugest burps. I'm talking ginormous man burps that have good tone. I drank one with lunch today and let out a world record belch as soon as I got back up to the lab. One of the guys in the next lab over poked his head into my room a few seconds later and just started uncontrollably laughing when he saw that I was the only person in there and therefore was the source of the burp that left the room reverberating. I work with 6 other men in that lab and he was expecting to harass one of them, but no, it happened to come from the only female that works in that lab. I'm not sure if I should feel proud of it, but I kind of do. Heh heh.

One of my co-workers just came back from a 3 week vacation in Peru. He brought me back an Incan ceremonial sacrificial knife. My thoughts turned to what would be on the receiving end of my awesome acquirement. I decided that it's going to be a carrot.

When I was on vacation in Huntington Beach last October I purchased an awesome cover-up cardigan at a local surf shop. It hangs open and has long sleeves and the length hits a few inches above the knee. I was wearing it today at work and as I was walking towards one of the doors to exit the building someone opened it and the wind made my shirt billow out behind me. I suddenly felt as if I was in the Matrix and was hiding heavy artillery under my shirt and felt the urge to reach behind me and pull out one of my pretend Micro Uzi's out of its holster. Or, I was in a Western and wanted to unleash my sawed-off shotguns to defend my family and our land. Later did I learn that these type of coats are called dusters. Do you ever fantasize about this stuff?

I had a great night at Absolute. We were working on choking someone from guard and fine tuning our triangle submission. I had the pleasure of drilling and rolling with Pedro, one of our gym's black belts. It was nice to finally be healthy and be back on the mats. We worked so hard and I was so exhausted that I forgot to stop at the store to pick up a few items that I needed to make dinner tonight. I remembered right when I parked in the driveway. I was having an internal battle on whether to go to the store so I could eat healthy, or settle for a frozen dinner and an immediate shower and bed. The shower and bed option tipped the scale. As I approached my front door, I saw a huge bag lying there with my name on it. Karen, a good friend in my ward, left a wonderful dinner for me as a surprise. She made some delicious beef stew, salad and cornbread. My little heart was about to burst! I felt so loved! I have some of the most thoughtful and considerate friends. I get emails almost every day from friends and family who are checking up on me and telling me how much they love me and pray for me. I was amazed at how generous people were when I was sick with pneumonia, bronchitis and the ear infections. Mr. McHotStuff was bringing over juice and movies almost every other day. My dear friend from Absolute, Chelsea, brought over books, Cheetos and Diet Coke. My neighbor, Michelle, checked on me everyday and made sure I was completely comfortable. Sometimes I feel like the most loved and doted upon person on the planet. I really need to keep that in the front of my mind because often the insecurities will creep in and tell me that I'm all alone and no one cares. But that is absolutely false. I have a support system made of adamantium. Life is good.

My Best Pal

2010-01-10T21:55:00.003-07:00

I had a feeling that you needed to see this adorable face today. My niece lights up my life. I love that she calls me her best pal. "We're best pals, right Nessy?" And I love that she calls me Nessy.

We went sledding on New Years Day together, and I was so proud of her adventurous spirit. We went to the steep hill at Sugarhouse Park and Mark sent her down by herself on the sled. She hit a bump and went flying out of the sled at top speed. She hit the ground on her stomach and rolled a bit until she came to a stop. Mark and I were at the top of the hill doubled over with laughter, because there is nothing funnier than seeing a little kid eat it. You know it's true! She ran up the hill and wanted to sled all by herself for the rest of the day. Such a champ.

While on the subject of our sledding outing, I must mention that Mark and I got into a snowball fight that ended up with me taking him down from a body lock, maintaining side control until I could get in the mount, and then stuffed his face with major amounts of snow. It was a sort of snowball ground and pound, and it was awesome. Jiu Jitsu is useful in many situations. My big brother will never dominate me in any sort of tussle again! How you like them apples!

Happiness Can Be Found, Even When You Are 31 and Have A Bottom the Size of Two Bowling Balls

2010-01-04T22:53:00.008-07:00

I am so in love with the Bridget Jones’s Diary movies, because she is me and I am her. We are one and the same. I adore Bridget in every way. I don’t judge her when she makes horrible and undisciplined decisions regarding men. And I understand when her goal of losing 20 pounds is thwarted because she ate the entire contents of her refrigerator after she got dumped. And I totally get her when she’s sitting at home alone on New Years, drinking wine and singing along to All By Myself by Celine Dion. I was thinking of Bridget while I was sitting at home alone on Christmas Eve eating frozen squash raviolis and watching Slapshot. I had grand plans for a fun filled night, starting with a handsome date and then heading to a friend's house for a party. But Mr. McHotStuff had to cancel due to some family flying in for a Christmas surprise and the party being canceled because the hostess went into labor 6 weeks early. So the next day I'm supposed to head up to Snowbird with some friends to take advantage of the mountain being totally deserted, but they bailed on me too. I decide to fly a solo mission and am having a great time exploring the mountain when I end up on the ski lift with this woman who, after some chit chat, starts sobbing and telling me how her husband just left her, and her two teenaged children decided that they wanted to live with him and how lonely she is now. She was so lovely and my heart ached for her as I hugged her while she cried up there on the chairlift. Then she looked up at me and asked why I, being such a beautiful and sweet girl, was up on the mountain all by herself. My ocular cavities started to leak and we turned into this pathetic sight – two strangers, hugging each other and crying on the chairlift on Christmas morning. We took a few runs together (she was one of the most incredible skiers that I have ever seen!) and then exchanged phone numbers and promised to call whenever we need a skiing buddy or a hug. It was tender. I then went home and watched Bridget Jones’s Diary for the billionth time that week. I find great comfort in Bridget’s story. My heart soars when Bridget ends up with Mark Darcy, a gorgeous and successful human rights lawyer that likes her just the way that she is. He actually says, “I like you. Very much. Just the way you are.” And when her friends find out what Mark said to her, they ask, “Not thinner? Or cleverer? With slightly bigger breasts and a slightly smaller nose?” Nope, he likes her just as she is. And I think that’s what I yearn for. Embarrassing and awkward things happen to me quite regularly, and even though I try to appear socially with-it, I’ve always felt like one of the weird kids. And I’m waiting for the person that actually loves that about me.

Bridget finally gets her marriage proposal and her parting words at the end of the second movie are, “Happiness can be found, even if you are 33 and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.” Amen, Bridget.

The Tuft

2009-12-23T23:07:00.005-07:00

Tragedy has hit my style! Due to my hair being platinum blonde and therefore very brittle, combined with participating in jujitsu, I now have major hair breakage which has resulted in tragic tufts.

My hair stylist is trying to convince me to try a super short hairstyle, but I'm afraid of looking too much like the Russian woman, Ludmilla Drago, in Rocky IV. Not that she isn't beautiful, because Brigitte Nielsen absolutely is, but that she's a badass and I'd rather be associated with darlingness and ultra-femininity. But at the same time, I'm constantly getting my hair ripped out when I'm grappling. I'm surprised that I have any hair left on my head at all. Camrann and Rob have said that they could construct a wig with how much hair of mine that they sweep up after I'm done rolling. Sick.

Yesterday was a ultra bad tuft day. The guys in the lab were laughing about it for a while. A photo was taken to cement the ridiculousness.

I went on another great date the other day (whoa!) and he loved the tuft! He thought that it was so incredibly endearing. Him saying that made me embrace my little broken hairs as part of my playful personality. I kind of like the tuft now.

Alternate Reality

2009-12-22T21:57:00.005-07:00

Apparently I am living an alternate version of my life where nice things are continually happening. It was snowing all day here in SLC and when I walked out to my car after work, I found, to my delight, that my car was cleared off. This person went out of their way to do it too. I park in a remote area of the parking lot and on this particular day I parked extra close the the snowbank on the passenger side. His (I'm assuming it was a man) footprints were all over the top of the snowbank as he wiped the snow from not only the windows but the roof and the hood of the car. I couldn't stop smiling. And when I got home late this evening there was some mistletoe stuck to my door. Could I, maybe, possibly, perhaps, have a secret admirer?! And if I do, then I would have to say that he is doing all the right things. There is nothing I respond to better than this type of thoughtfulness. He could look like Quasimodo for all I care but if he does the little tender things, I am a little puddle of melted goo. And even it's not a secret admirer, I'm still loving this experience. Someone is letting me know that they care.

Online Dating Disaster!

2009-12-20T21:23:00.005-07:00

No matter how many people urge you to try online dating, don't do it! It's where all the creeper men go to prey on lovely women who sign up so as to give an honest effort in finding someone outside their social circle at the intense encouragement of their mother. Argh! I was signed up for two months on a $16.99 special and it just might be a bigger waste of money than that time I spent the same amount on a DVD of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (absolutely painful to watch).

I signed up on a LDS dating site hoping to develop friendship/relationship with normal men that have a firm commitment to the gospel and the covenants that they've made. I'm pretty sure that those kind are already settled and married, or not online. I'm a relatively attractive, educated, extremely playful, and worthy woman and I got an overwhelming response from men 50+ years old, total nerds and creepers. I repeatedly told myself that I need to keep an open mind and explore all options. The first man that IM'd me was a skinny white dude who was wearing a wife beater and a gold chain in his profile picture. Even though I wanted to block him right away according to what he was wearing and that smug cocky smile on his face, I decided that I would give him a chance and see what he was all about. This was our conversation:

Stupid Creeper (SC): Your way hotttt! (He was an atrocious speller and I HATE when people use the wrong form of your and you're. This was already a deal breaker. And the multiple TTT's made me roll my eyes and let out an unamused sigh.)

Me: Thank you! I'm flattered. (I wasn't really because I'm positive that he opens up with that line to every woman with a somewhat attractive profile picture.)

SC: Do you workout?

Me: Yeah, very frequently. I'm addicted to Brazilian Jujitsu and train regularly.

SC: Kewl. (Please don't ask me why I didn't end the conversation right there, because I really don't have an answer for you.)

Me: What are your hobbies?

SC: Didn't you read my profile?

Me: No, you're the one that IM'd me.

SC: But I thought that you would have checked me out since I am the hottest guy on here. (Again, I have no idea why I didn't log off immediately.)

Me: You checked out your competition?

SC: Ya.

Me: That's weird.

SC: Just kidding! I don't really do that. (He most likely does.)

Me: Well, it was nice chatting with you (total lie) but I've got to go to bed now.

SC: What???!!!! We just got started. I didn't even ask the important question yet!

Me: Sorry but it's getting late.

SC: Well can I just be forward with you for a second?

Me: Alright, as long as its not creepy. (I didn't really have my hopes up for that request. I just knew that it was going to be creepy.)

SC: LOL! It's not.

Me: Okay, go for it. (Regrettable go-ahead)

SC: What does the booty look like?

Me: Are you asking if I'm fat?

SC: Are you?

Me: You shouldn't have prefaced that with "Can I be forward with you for a second," you should have prefaced it with "Can I be a jackass for a second." (I was going to log off right then but I was curious to see where this was headed.)

SC: LOL!

Me: That wasn't meant to be funny.

SC: I think you got the wrong idea about me.

Me: No, I think shallow ass hat is pretty accurate.

SC: So you are fat.

Me: Actually my body has been compared to Giselle Bundchen's. (Total lie - I definitely have some extra pounds on me - but I couldn't give him the satisfaction.)

SC: SWEET! I knew it! When can we meet? (Guys like this truly exist!!! I am witness!)

Me: That depends...what's your income potential over the next 5 years?

SC: I'm unemployed at the moment.

Me: Sucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I then logged off and blocked him. That was probably the worst IM that I had but others have come close! A man old enough to be my father emailed me and wrote, "Why would a beautiful woman hide 40% of her face?" I didn't know if he was trying to tell me a joke or commenting on my profile picture so I responded with, "What in the world are you talking about? Or, if this is a joke that you're telling, why would a woman do that?" He emailed me back with this, "Wondering why a beautiful woman Hides 40% of her Face ...with Hair ? And 30% of that is your Forehead. It just puzzles me is all since any man Greatly luvs a woman's Face over her Covering Hair. Yes, as a man of nearly 50 years..I have been exposed to 'Just A Few' Women in my days AND spoken with MORE than 'Just A Few' Men about their Female Tastes. And having that much Covering Hair takes away from Beauty." This was copied and pasted directly from the email. What a MORON! Covering hair? I can only assume that he means my bangs - which are totally darling! And does he think that nouns are supposed to be capitalized? Horrible grammar. Absolutely horrible! And I admit that mine isn't perfect, but I there's a certain level that my tolerance doesn't dip below and that email was one of them.

I did start regularly emailing a man that lives up in Alberta, Canada who is a hockey player and a welder. He was the most promising guy but I lost interest after he told me that he never wants his future wife to have kids because then she'll be fat. I have since deleted my profile and am going back to traditional dating.

I recently had one of the best dates of my life. He was incredibly handsome, gentlemanly and charming. We were laughing our guts off most of the night but we talked a little about why we're in our thirties and still single. We were sharing insecurities and being totally honest with each other about our feelings. It was one of the most refreshing conversations that I've had in a while. I shared that one of the reasons that I believe that I'm not settled in a relationship is that I feel that I don't deserve to be loved. I don't truly love myself. And in my brain I know that notion is completely false and that I have very desirable qualities that belong in a loving relationship. I know that I naturally possess some incredible traits that would truly nurture a companionship. But I self-sabotage myself everytime I get remotely close to forming a romantic attachment. I also went for a man that I knew from the very beginning nothing would ever happen because him not wanting me reinforced the fact that I was unlovable. Yeah, totally masochistic. When does what your mind tells you filter down to your heart and you start acting with confidence and let love happen? Alternately, my date told me that his problem is that he doesn't think that he's capable of loving the way that you should love someone in a marriage/relationship. He said that he always had this vision of being totally swept off his feet and suddenly everything will fall into place and he'll start loving this woman and do all the things that you're supposed to do to let a woman know that you'd do anything to make the relationship work. But because he hasn't experienced that, he's still single. But he thinks he's wrong about that because he said that if were to die tomorrow and had to stand before his maker and account for the reason that he's 30 and not married he doesn't think that his excuses would fly. He said that he's gone out with stunningly beautiful, smart, worthy women and for some reason he just doesn't pursue the relationship. He admitted that he's sure that he could've been happy with many of them but because he wasn't instantly smitten he didn't go for it and admitted that it's a fault. We also both agreed that we totally LOVE being single and that life is far easier as a single person than as a married person, and if marriage weren't a commandment we'd probably remain single forever (selfish, I know). Physical intimacy is also another selling point for us LDS folks.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though! I have specific goals for myself and trust that with some hard work my issues can be resolved, because they are not something that I want to take into a relationship. I've witnessed the destruction that personal insecurities such as the ones I have can create. I've also remained faithful to my God and because of that I know that everything will work out for the best. I've never been let down before.

Things Men Should Never Say To A Woman #66

2009-12-11T18:02:00.004-07:00

"I saw you in the lunchroom earlier today totally pounding that burrito. Good job."

Uhm............thank you?

Giggle Words

2009-12-10T07:52:00.001-07:00

A month or so ago, the Young Women and the leaders were asked to sing the rest hymn in sacrament meeting. We sang Walk Tall You're A Daughter of God and in the song there is a line that says, "Our Father held you in His arm so tender." I look over and a couple of the girls were giggling when we were approaching the word "tender." And I then I knew. It was a giggle word. A word that sounds so weird and somewhat gross that you just can't help but chuckle a bit. I was laughing with them about it later and they told me all the giggle words, most of which are found on this picture that is displayed in the lunchroom at the lab.
I posted the picture on Facebook and tagged Lucy and Hannah in it. The response was hilarious! These are the two little Chicken Nuggets. Yeah, they're as fun as they look.

I was asking some people at work what their giggle words were and the funniest one I got was knobs. It's now becoming my giggle word. I'm giggling right now as I write it. Tee Hee.

So what's your giggle word?

Atomically Awesome!

2009-12-09T22:05:00.002-07:00

I would like to send a thank you out into the universe directed to the person who put a bag of atomic fireballs anonymously into my locker at work today. I deduce that the giver has one X and one Y chromosome because the note was written on a yellow sticky pad and the handwriting was barely legible and we all know that neat penmanship and the ability to access stationary at any moment is contained in the gender that has two X chromosomes (my middle name is sometimes Sherlock). The message said this:

Because I know you like fireballs, you little fireball.

One of the best feelings is knowing that someone was thinking about you.

Tapping The Kidney

2009-12-08T20:05:00.006-07:00

Lunch was provided by the corporate team at work today and the drink option was 1.5 liter bottles of water. I work directly with 6 men and they all went down to partake before I did so I didn't sit with them. After I got back into the lab they were telling me that the challenge at the table was to drink the entire bottle of water before lunch was over. I joked that I would've smoked them all if I were there. I like talking the big talk. They asked me if I finished my water at lunch and I had to admit that I only finished 2/3rds of the bottle, but I didn't know that there was a challenge. We went down for a break later in the day and they placed 1.5 liters of freezing cold water in front of me. One and a half liters of water really isn't a big deal to me. I drink that much before and after my workouts at Absolute and my Bikram Yoga classes. But usually it's after I've sweat out alot of water and it's at room temperature. I chugged the bottle and only took it away from my lips once or twice, so I could say "How you like them apples!" after I was done. I slammed the empty bottle on the table as if I'd just won a very important lager drinking contest, said my quote and then immediately felt so sick. I rushed over to the trash can and held myself over it just waiting for a waterfall to come exploding out of my mouth. The guys were all laughing so hard and told me I'm only the champ if I can keep it down. I stifle it and strut back up to that lab with the confidence that comes with being The Challenge of the Day champ. My stomach returned to feeling normal after about an hour and that's the point that I started having to pee DESPERATELY. I would pee and then while I was washing my hands the pee feeling would return. There was no relief for my bladder. None. I had to run to the restroom after every extraction that I was doing during the afternoon. I couldn't even make it home from work without stopping at a store to use the restroom. I must have peed twenty times in the last few hours. But I'd do it again just to be the Challenge of the Day champ. It's a great honor.

I See A Little Silouetto of a Clam

2009-12-03T18:27:00.007-07:00

I have always found the Muppets highly entertaining. Their quirky and slapstick humor has great appeal to me. I loved the TV shorts and all the movies, including "Muppets From Space," where Pepe the Prawn was first introduced to me and immediately embedded himself in my heart. I took piano lessons for a little while in elementary school and quit after I was able to play the theme songs from The Muppet Show and Star Wars. Those were the only songs that really mattered. I still know how to play them.

I was thrilled when I saw this music video that had the winning combination of the Muppets and my go-to karaoke/shower song. My Muppet look-a-like, Janice, makes her appearance about halfway through the video. If only I could rock out as hard as her. Someday. *Sigh*

The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody @ Yahoo! Video

I must confess that in my freshman year of college I was addicted to only one show - Muppets Tonight. It was on Sunday nights, had new Muppet characters, had a celebrity guest each week, and was HILARIOUS! I have no idea why it was cancelled. On Sunday nights I would have a crowd in my dorm room and we would all be eagerly anticipating the Muppet antics and celebrity sketches. Here are a couple that I found on youtube.

You all know how I feel about my brothers, and want to conclude with why my younger bro is so endearing. Rarely can you get him to actually show a real smile when taking his picture. He often does what I call the Muppet smile. See...

The mouth is hanging open in a mock smile. Like he's waiting for you to get the punch line in a joke.

He moved to Seattle last June with his wife and I miss them so much. When I think of Stefan, a picture of him with his Muppet smile comes up in my mind, and I smile my real smile.

Two More Swords

2009-11-23T23:26:00.004-07:00

Ben placed first in his weight division for the gi competition and also won the men's gi open weight competition. Denver placed 2nd in the no gi competition for his weight class. Nate placed 2nd in gi for his weight class. Bret placed 3rd in gi for his weight class.

Coach Rob Handley and I with my trophies.

I participated in a submission only grappling tournament on November 14th and ended up doing well. I won the women's Middleweight gi and no gi competitions. I get so nervous before these things that I actually give myself an upset stomach. I really don't have any idea why I get that way, I realize that my competing is only for fun. I've never been involved in a sport where only you are responsible for the outcome. I don't deal with it too well. Aack!

I need to really improve myself before the next tournament. Even though I won, I didn't do it to the best of my ability. I know way more that what I displayed that day. Thanks to Coach Rob for the vote of confidence and for always being proud of me regardless of the outcome.

Click over to Chelsea's blog for more on how the whole team did. Thanks Chelsea, for all the support and encouragement!

Throwdown

2009-11-22T21:24:00.005-07:00

A big huge congratulations to Cam, Steve and Eduardo for the awesome display of MMA last Friday night. Eduardo Rivera stepped in the cage first and after standing up with his opponent for a couple of minutes, he threw a hard right hook the guy went right out. KO! He lay on the mat for a good 20 to 30 seconds before he came to.
Camrann came out a few fights later and was up against Eddie Pelczynski. Eddie weighed in 4 pounds heavy and Cam still took the fight, of course. I saw a couple good exchanges and then the fight went to the ground. Eddie got a decent hold on a ankle lock but Cam got out of it. As Eddie tried to get off his back, Cam got to his back, rained down some hit and then sunk a wicked read naked choke. Eddie taps and the crowd went wild. Cam wins and loses graciously.
Steve "Razor" was looking to take the Lightweight title from Rad Martinez. He is one of the most entertaining fighters that you will ever see. The fight pretty much went the same as last year when Rad won the title. Rad is just an amazing wrestler and times the takedowns perfectly. His takedowns were just incredible! Probably the best that I've seen locally. It just seems to me that he has amazing control but doesn't know his submissions too well. Or passing the guard. Or transition from side control to mount. Just saying. I thought that Steve did really well on the ground and got out from Rad a number of times, which I would think is an amazing feat considering that Rad is an absolute monster! He's a chiseled statue of the human body. It's quite easy to identify every muscle group. The fight went for five 5 minute rounds. I can't imagine doing that at that level. You really can't even imagine the athleticism that these fighters have! It's mind blowing. Rad ended up winning by unanimous decision.
There was a great fight between Steve Siler and Enoch "The Animal" Wilson for the Featherweight title. It won Fight of the Night. It also went for five 5 minute rounds and ended in a unanimous decision for Siler. I've never seen so many submission attempts and escapes in one fight. The two of the them did such a great job.
Another fight that I really enjoyed was Jordan Smith vs. Bristol Marunde. Jordan usually fights at 205 lbs, but after totally dominating that weightclass he dropped down to the Middleweight division (185 lbs). He won with an awesome triangle choke in the first round. I talked to him a little bit before the show and asked him if he's going to move on to bigger promotions since he's had so much success locally. He said yes, but he couldn't tell me what it is yet and just to pay attention. I sure will.
Josh Burkman and Brandon Melendez faced off as the main event and Burkman won with a round 1 KO. I wanted to see more of this but it was finished early.
Most of the Absolute team sat together and we all had alot of fun cheering our friends on. The dark part of the night came when the crew brought me to my car and we saw that it was gone! I carpooled down to Orem with Miyo and we met by 90th south exit in Sandy. I parked in an empty lot next to a gas station there and apparently it was a private lot and my car was towed. Argh! It was 2 in the morning and we were trying to track down my car. It cost me $206 to get it out of the impound lot. It is so painful to hand over that kind of money for something so stupid as a parking mistake! Ben got the towing guy to do a little dance as I handed over the cash and we all got a good laugh out of that one. It made it better to be around such good friends that sympathized with me and were there to witness the guy tell me that he likes my coat and thinks that I'm pretty. The comments made by the group after that little exchange made me smile all the way home.

Tomorrow Night!

2009-11-19T23:17:00.003-07:00

Come watch Camrann Pacheco, Steve Sharp, and Eduardo win their fights. These boys are looking so good. In the cage, that is. Alright, outside of it too.

"Only mediocre people are at their best all of the time."

2009-11-13T18:47:00.006-07:00

Email From My Mother

2009-11-12T12:42:00.002-07:00

Hello my darling daughter,

I found this quote from posh dating service ad that was in an airline magazine that I recently perused through.

"Undoubtedly however, if you are an attractive, successful, relatively private and selective individual, you have found that the more you have to offer, the more difficult it seems to find the person who is right for you." (You came to mind immediately.)

Yesterday was our 33rd wedding anniversary. Can you believe that? I asked Dad how he managed to stay married to me for that long?!!!!! He had a big embarrassed grin on his face. I gave him a complete set of all the Three Stooges films for a specific time period, and Dad picked up some frozen berries from Trader Joe's for me.

Keep the faith and keep on going. I love you lots. Mom

Chalk One Up For This Bantamweight

2009-11-09T19:35:00.003-07:00

My friend Denver, was supposed to fight in a promotion up in Ogden on Friday night but that show was cancelled due to that fact that none of the other fighters besides Denver and his opponent had their blood tests done. It was disappointing to all of us. I was over at Cam's on Friday night and found out that Denver was offered a fight in the Ultimate Combat Experience. They were going to allow him to use his weigh in results from Thursday night. He won the fight two and a half minutes into the first round by ground and pound. I'm so proud of my pal. This is his start to being at the top of that weight class.
(He's the shorter one in the Sprawl shorts)

I love the takedown at 1:25. We've been working on that a ton in class last week.

FAIL

2009-11-08T23:47:00.004-07:00

I know, I know! I'm falling flat on my face with the whole posting every day idea. The weekend was insanely, awesomely busy, but I have some fun posts to share this upcoming week because of it. Thank you for your patience with me and good night.

What Today Was Great For...

2009-11-06T13:13:00.004-07:00

Corndogs, Diet Coke, and rhinoceroses (rhinoceroci?).

I left work early because it was WAY too beautiful outside not to, and took my 2 year old nephew to the zoo. I guess the animals were as excited as I was that it was Friday because they were all awake and active and playful. All I ever see them doing is laying on a log with a bored stare. They're all so old and decrepit.

2009-11-05T21:25:00.008-07:00

Denver, one of my teammates at Absolute, is fighting at Teazers in Ogden tomorrow night. He's a Bantamweight (135 lbs) and I can't hardly wait to see the beginnings of his domination in that weight class. I saw him at the gym this morning doing the last of his weight cutting and he looked great. He's confident and ready.

(taken from Denver's Facebook page)

My abs were really sore last night and I was wondering it felt like someone ran over my mid-section with a motorcycle. And then I remembered the 400 push-ups and sit-ups that we did at the end of our conditioning round the other night after Muay Thai. Yep, that would do it.

I've been doing morning sessions with Rob and Cam on Tuesdays and Thursdays and they have spent alot of time with me. I've been going in to work early and then leaving for a couple hours to train. On Tuesday, Cam rolled with me the whole time and taught me some of his best go-to submissions from the half man guard. Rob went what felt like a billion rounds with me this morning until I felt sufficiently smashed and exhausted. This is so much fun.
The thought "I need more spandex" was recently on my brain. Yes, I wear little booty shorts and a fitted rash guard under my gi or my fight shorts. It hasn't been doing it's job of keeping me covered though. Quite often my shirt ends up around my armpits when I'm rolling and everything is just all hanging out. It's horribly embarrassing. So a wrestling singlet was purchased. It was sent to Absolute and as I was trying it on in the changing room I hear a chorus of shouts from the front desk telling me to come out and show them. Ha! The show is over guys. I'm keeping it all contained now.

The All Star Dog!

2009-11-04T22:50:00.003-07:00

I desperately need to go to bed, so I'll just leave you with this image.
(salivating)...I can't wait for baseball season to start up again.

He's Got Some Moves!

2009-11-03T06:08:00.000-07:00

I train at Absolute with Donny "Sleavehead" Raines and not only is he a great fighter but he is a great actor and film producer. Check this out.

Serious talent, I know. That was just an small excerpt from his movie I Know Kung Fu. Check out the full version (it's in two parts) here and here. It's a super fun time!
This is another that I enjoyed from Sleavhead's You Tube collection...

And let's not forget about his MMA highlights. His submissions are awesome! He's pretty sneaky with that armbar...catches me with it all the time.

Don't you wish Donny was your friend? Yeah, I'm the lucky one.

Movie Review - Gentlemen Broncos

2009-11-02T22:53:00.005-07:00

My PIC, Ashley, got married and moved to Texas last Spring and left her younger sister, Emily, to fill in for her. If I can't have Ashley, Emily is a GREAT replacement. Emily's birthday was last Thursday and she got tickets to a pre-screening of Gentlemen Broncos, the new Jared Hess film. This is the same writer/director that did Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre. Do you remember seeing Napoleon in the theaters for the first time? Were you thinking what the hell was that? I sure did. Then you saw it a second time because some guys down the street rented the movie and since they were cute you decided to go and then realized that it actually is wicked hilarious and not just because the cute guys thought so. This is the potential that Gentlemen Broncos has. Emily and I walked out of the theater thinking this was the dumbest movie ever to be put into production. On the way home we were making fun of it and started to recall some of the more humorous parts. But the time we got back to her house we were laughing like a couple of crazies. The giggles wouldn't cease. This continued the next day through text messaging. So I think that I would recommend seeing this when it comes to theaters but go with low expectations because it does follow the Hess recipe for success - awkward hero and nerdy cast placed into a ridiculous plot. Enjoy.

There is also a great clip of Jemaine Clement (he's the best part of the movie) in character as Dr. Ronald Chevalier.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

2009-11-01T20:46:00.004-07:00

I recently went out with some friends and it came up that I haven't been posting lately and they seemed rather disappointed. I guess that sometimes you get tired of blogging or start running out interesting ideas to write about, then your blog starts losing any kind of momentum and your fan base disintegrates and no motivation to blog exists. Well, let's see if I can resurrect this blog. I will post a new entry everyday during this new month. I can't promise that it will be interesting but something will be up on this site daily. And I never allow comments anymore because I haven't been reading or commenting on the blogs that I subscribe to and don't want others to feel obligated to comment on mine. It's not that I'm not enjoying your blogs, it's just that my job description has changed a bit and I'm in front of a computer for work much of the day and the last thing that I want to do when I come home is sit at a desk. I do appreciate those of you that keep your blogs going strong and someday I will catch up on your posts. But that's going to have to wait until I get sick or something tragic like that. So hold on to your hats, you're going to get sick of VTS by the end of November, I can promise you that.

Trying To Get My Pearl Jam On

2009-09-26T21:12:00.004-06:00

One of my favorite bands EVER, Pearl Jam, is performing at the E Center this Monday night. One of my co-workers, Ben S, and I really, REALLY want to go. Problem is that tickets are $70 and I really can't justify spending that sort of money for one concert. But if I don't go how will Eddie Vedder catch my gaze and suddenly realize that I'm the love of his life and we end up living in eternal bliss? I know, total problem here. So, a local radio station has been promoting this concert and giving away tickets. I have been listening diligently to 94.9 ZROC for the past month. I have called in whenever I hear any Pearl Jam song regardless of whether or not it was an actual giveaway. I have called no less than 300,000,000,000,000 times. And two times last week while driving to work I was caller number 8 when they were looking for caller number 9. So close, yet so far away. I wanted to cry.

So here is what I am proposing...you guys spend all day tomorrow and Monday glued to the radio and win the tickets and I'll go with you! Seriously, I totally would. I'll even buy you dinner. I'm a great date. I promise. Ask anyone.

GAME ON!

Keepitupkeepitup

2009-09-26T20:59:00.005-06:00

Last week during Muay Thai I was drilling with Dave Kamarov and toward the end of the last round, when all of my energy was spent, this is what I heard from him the entire last 30 seconds...
keepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepkeepitupitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupyoucandoitepitupkeepitupyoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitalmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmosttherealmosttherealmosttherealmosttherealmosttheredon'tquitonemore. DONE! And now you can go over there and puke.
Thanks, Komi.

Quick Question

2009-09-26T20:53:00.002-06:00

Would someone please explain to me why my blog is getting 300 billion hits? Because, to my knowledge, I only have about 6.3 readers that frequent this blog regularly. Why this sudden popularity? Should I be flattered or should I be scared of ridicule and extreme web-mocking?

I Heart Facebook!

2009-09-23T22:14:00.003-06:00

I recently received a friend request from someone that I don't know and this was his profile pic.
Friendship confirmed.

The Friday Night Acquisition

2009-09-20T22:02:00.003-06:00

Oh, rapture!

Always Sunny AND Freaking Hilarious

2009-09-18T22:07:00.000-06:00

I've never been one to be a follower of any TV series, mainly because I haven't owned a TV for the past few years. But I recently came across "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and totally love it. It's so quirky and unlike any other comedy series that I've ever seen. Sometimes I'll be sitting at my desk at work, think of something from the show and bust out laughing. It's got some good stuff.

I Feel Like Hell

2009-09-14T15:58:00.005-06:00

I attended this seminar last Saturday.

(picture taken from the Absolute MMA blog)

My entire being is racked with soreness. It hurts to breathe. Anyone with strong drugs, please contact me immediately. Thank you.
What was really cool about this seminar was that I got to see my coach, Rob, in action. He is one awesome display of power. My jaw was on the floor as I watched him perform some really long combinations with intense force.
I walked away from this with a ton more knowledge. There were only 8 or 9 of us from Absolute there. Those from the other gyms outnumbered us. Not so cool. Those that didn't go really missed out on some solid fight information. I'm just telling it like it is.

Holy Hot Dang, Harley Edition

2009-09-13T21:40:00.006-06:00

One of my co-workers rides a '76 Harley, Shovelhead hardtail to work occasionally. It is probably the coolest bike that I've ever seen. It always draws a crowd and alot of guys stop to take a look as they exit the lab. This is the view from my office.
Chad, the owner of the bike, and I are going to take a motorcycle certification class together soon. He's been urging me to get mine and he feels guilty that he's been riding bikes for so long (like 20 years) without a motorcycle license.

I know what you're feeling as you look at these pics! It does that for me too.

Paul (my awesome officemate) and I play a game called "Guess the Rider." The motorcycle parking area is right below our office window and we know who owns each motorcycle that is driven to work. When we hear an engine rev up we try to guess who it is without looking out the window. We are really, really good at this game. We have observed these bikes for a while now and know what size engines each has and what kind of noise it makes. There are probably 6 to 10 different motorcycles out there at any given time.

I Approve...

2009-09-13T19:11:00.000-06:00

Rent it if you like Guy Ritchie movies.

Some Recent Faves

2009-09-02T20:57:00.008-06:00

My parents recently came out for a visit from Massachusetts and we took Liesl to the "This Is The Place" monument park. I love how tender my dad is with little Liesl.
"This is AMAZING! I've never had anything more delicious in my ENTIRE LIFE!"

Liesl and Algy came over soon after Super bit the dust and were confused as to where the fishy was. My brother and I were laughing so hard and kept telling them to look harder. Awful, I know. But what good are kids if you can't have a little fun with them? Finally I had to tell them that he died. Liesl was displeased with the joke.

My favorite picture of us.

I love this pic because I love Emily so much.

This is my co-worker, Quint. There were no more cups in the community cup cupboard so he sits down with this measuring cup and declars that he was consuming exactly 300 mL of water during that lunch period. Hilarious! You had to be there.

Chicken Dinner!

2009-09-02T20:21:00.004-06:00

Yeah! My good buddy, Dave Komarov, just won his fight at the Gladiator Challenge in Wendover last Saturday. He managed an armbar in the middle of the first round. He was landing some hard hits the whole round. I'm so surprised that he didn't get a KO.

The weekend prior to the fight we went to the zoo together and it was the best time that I've ever had there. Probably because he is a totally nerd and would get so excited about what he learned of the various animals. The best was how he would point our the size of the animals testicles in relation to their body size. Every single time. Toward the end, I would automatically look there and be amazed before he would make his comment.

Have you ever seen anyone come this close before? His reach is unreal, and he uses it well.

So precious.

Edward also fought in The Gladiator Challenge and won by referee stoppage due to strikes in the second round. It feels good to have some more wins for Team Absolute.
The main event was Jake "The Snake" Paul vs. Lee Doss and it ended quick! This show was called "Retaliate" because JTS and Lee Doss faced off against each other a while ago (JTS won) and it was said from Lee Doss' camp that the fight was called by the ref early. They had another go at it and JTS threw one punch after touching gloves and Lee Doss was rocked. This was seriously seconds after the bell. JTS followed it up with one or two more strikes once Lee was on the ground. That's it, the fight was called. What an ending to the hype that was generated.

I really love coming to these events and the caliber of local fighting is pretty good. You're usually guaranteed a couple of really good fights at these shows. Come next time.

Hmmm....I Think That I Will Go To This

2009-08-27T22:01:00.002-06:00

Dear Will,

2009-08-17T22:32:00.005-06:00

I'm sorry that I elbowed you in the face and made your nose bleed today. Apparently it is a goal of mine to see how many noses I can make bleed in the gym this year. Who's next?

Cedar City Fights

2009-08-16T23:06:00.007-06:00

Two of my good friends were fighting down in Cedar City this weekend and a group of us from Absolute decided to go down and support them. Camrann was also supposed to be in this show but his opponent supposedly got into a car accident, which he couldn't prove, and consequently Cam's fight was cancelled. What was fun about this is that it reminded me of the first show that I ever went to. It was exactly 2 years ago when ODB had his first fight at the Weber County fairgrounds and this venue was identical to it. The cage was right in the middle of a rodeo arena and smelled like horse poop. There were rows of metal folding chairs in the dirt around the cage and bleachers that were too far away to really see anything well. The part of it all was that the fighters came out of a horse pen! What the...?!
Riley lost his fight in the first round by TKO. That was really disappointing and I feel that if Riley were to fight that guy 10 more times, he would win all of them. I hope he takes another fight soon and will finally see what he really can do. I'm so amazed at how hard I feel it when one of my teammates is defeated. My little heart physically aches. I hate it.
Kyle totally dominated. He barely got hit at all. He won in the second round with a TKO. His opponent had a wicked reach but Kyle worked with it really well. I just can't see Kyle ever losing. His focus and determination is unmatched.
All the guys were teasing me about when I'm going to get in the cage. I was joking around and said that when Denver (who hasn't had a fight yet) racks up five wins and when Kyle wins the All ARMY MMA competition, I'll get in the cage. Kyle steps up and he wants to shake on it. I refuse because I know that he really is capable of winning the All ARMY and Denver could quite possibly rack up 5 wins as soon as he starts getting fights. It was quite comical though. I really couldn't see myself in the cage at this time. It's just not what I want at the moment.

The group of us that went down to Cedar City Kyle and I after his fight

Riley and I after his fight. Poor guy, he just looks so unhappy and I just bound in and hug him and shove a camera in his face. What a champ.
The high class venue

Some of the high class people that we saw there. This girl's necklace was my favorite observation of the night...a rhinestone studded brass knuckle pendant.Me, Jessi (Ben's girl) and Ben. She became an instant BFF. I love those kind of women.

The ride down was awesome because I heard a ton more of those Man Stories that I love to hear. Ben is the KING of adolescent male stupidity. I'm surprised that he's lived as long as he has. Denver had some awesomely funny stories as well. One of my favorites was a game they played called "Cardboard Cat". Him and his friends would fashion a cat out of cardboard and other household crap and put tinfoil (or some other reflective material) on it as the eyes and then put it out in the middle of the road. Cars would just stop and wait there for the "cat" to pass and then get out of their vehicle only to find out that it was a fake. Hilarious.

The trip home was a little less lively. We were all up for quite a while the night before. After the fights we got a bite to eat and then headed out to a club for a while. We got back to the hotel and I went right to sleep whereas others continued the insanity.

We made it back safe and sound and all are excited in anticipation for our next trip, which is in 2 weeks, where we are going to Wendover to the Gladiator Challenge because Dave "Komi" is fighting in it.

Ben, leaning in all sexily. Grrr.

Denver and Sean (not to be confused with Sideshow Bob)

I think Denver had a bit of a rough night.

Kickin' it in the minivan.

R.I.P. Super

2009-08-12T21:35:00.003-06:00

You've been a good buddy these past 7 years. I think I might cry all night. But I may rejoice in the fact that I no longer have to clean your tank or find someone to feed you when I go on vacation. Oh Super, you will always be in my heart and you will never be replaced. Ever.

Man Stories

2009-08-11T21:49:00.003-06:00

I love man stories. It seems that they always have the funniest, most entertaining adventures to tell. Yesterday I was incredibly tired at work. I really could hardly concentrate on what I had to do. Two of my friends, Mark and Ben, came into my office and started telling me stories to help perk me up.

Ben had a surgery a few years ago because he broke either his tibula or fibula, while he attempted for the first time to drop into a halfpipe on his skateboard. As entertainment during his recovery, one of his buddies dropped into the halfpipe while strapped to a chair on wheels - like an office chair. It wasn't going too well, so they sent him in backwards and out of courtesy put a helmet on him. What the...?!

Mark was telling me about the time one of his buddies was riding his pedal bike as fast as he could away from his brother who was chasing him on his motorcycle. He was riding fast through some gravel and ended up wiping out. His brother then went ahead and ran him over on his motorbike, thereby breaking his femur! The guy had a cast on that went from his upper thigh all the way down to nearly his ankle. After about a week, the cast started itching real bad. So instead of grabbing a metal coat hanger or something, he finds the longest steak knife that he could find and proceeds to ease the itch by sticking it down in his cast. He not only injures himself while scratching the itch, but manages to lose the steak knife in the cast. He then had to go back to the doctor's office for the cast to be removed to find the knife and have a new one put on.

Most of the other tales included damage to the guys' "Willis and Doodle-Berries" if ya know what I mean. Those situations always make me explode with laughter. Like the story Ben told about how he and his buddy went somewhere on thier bikes and when they went to go home they saw that the seat was stolen off of his friends bike. He had to ride the whole way home standing up. Ben was messing with him and he slipped off his pedal and damaged his goods. So awful, yet SO hilarious.

I seriously love those kind of stories! I hope that when I have children that I have a few of those crazy boys. I can totally handle boys.

Nothing Injured Except My Pride

2009-08-09T15:21:00.007-06:00

The other night I went for a late night run in the Cardio Theater at Gold's Gym. The movie that was playing was Australia with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. I've never seen it before and was quite entertained by it. I was nearing the end of my 6 miles so I was kinda tired and my feet started dragging a bit and the part came where Nicole Kidman's character, experiencing her first day in The Outback, was admiring the hopping kangaroo that were running along side the car that she was riding in. She's in love with the spectacle when suddenly you hear a gunshot and the kangaroo crumples while Nicole's face distorts with horror. It scared me so bad that I went flying off the back of the treadmill and ended up in a heap on the floor. I cannot remember the last time that I've been that embarrassed. There was only 2 other people in the room and once they saw I was ok, they started laughing so hard. Then I started laughing uncontrollably and we all had to pause our workouts and regroup. They said that they were startled too and probably would have had the same fate as me if they were on one of the treadmills and not the elliptical machines. We laughed some more and got back on our machines. I set out to finish my last mile and not 2 minutes later there was Hugh Jackman with his shirt off, pouring a bucket of water sexily over his perfecty tan and chiseled body. I bit my knuckles and then slipped in a puddle of my own drool, which once again sent me flying off the back off the machine. Fine, what really happened is that I athletically hopped onto the runners on the side of the treadmill and intently watched the scene so as to avoid any incident, which very well could have included saliva induced slippage. Oh man, Hugh Jackman is one incredibly hot specimen. I FINALLY saw Wolverine and was blown away. I love that kind of action adventure and amazing hotness that the movie displayed. The only thing that could've made it better would have been more of Ryan Reynold's character, Deadpool, in the movie. Yes, he did it for me.

Anyway, about a half hour after I finished my workout I found out that some friends were registered to do the Sandy City Midnight Moon 5K Run. I decided to join them and had a blast running 3 more miles in the crisp night air while donning glowstick bracelets and necklaces. The first mile was entirely uphill and I was sure that I was it was going to kill me, since I had just ran 6 miles and biked 12 miles in the hour previous to this race, but it didn't and the rest of the run was a very moderate course. I feel so lucky to have so many fun friends and a ton of opportunities to involve myself in plenty of different activities. I'm determined to stay active my entire existence and retain my fascination for life and learning.

My BFF

2009-08-05T20:53:00.007-06:00

My niece is my little pal. She's three and I'm thirty, but we hang out like we're a couple of teenagers. I haven't been at Absolute training this week because of my wrist and have been filling my nights with fun things. I had no plans after work today, so I called Liesl and asked if she wanted to go to the movies.

Me: "Hey pal, I'm off of work a little early and want to know if you want to go and see a movie with me?"
Liesl: "Oh my gosh, sure! Are you coming to pick me up?"
Me: "Yeah, of course. I'll be there in about ten minutes. Is that cool?"
Liesl: Yeah, I just got some chocolate on my dress so I have to get changed, but then I'll be ready."
Me: "Alright, I'll see you in a little bit."
Liesl: "Oh my goodness, this is going to be so much fun!"
Me: "I know, right?"
Liesl: "I know, right!"

Seriously, she's only three and is that articulate!

Look at how teenagerish we are...self portraits at every outing. She's even getting good at taking them herself.

Eating popsicles on a bench outside the movie theater.

In the car before heading to the zoo.
Hanging out at home and playing Bingo.

FAKEOUT!

2009-08-01T00:13:00.002-06:00

Due to an unfortunate injury while training last night, I won't be competing tomorrow. Too bad, so sad. But there's always next the next tournament to focus my efforts on.

In Case You Wanted to Come...

2009-07-29T08:40:00.005-06:00

I'm competing in a grappling tournament at the Throwdown ETC this Saturday, 01 August 2009. Fun, huh?! It starts at 9am and the women's division is usually first. The address is 1640 South State Street, Orem UT. Chris Kennedy and Ben Garner from Absolute MMA are also competing. There may be a few others from our team that I don't know about. In any case it should be awesome!

Could I Possibly Be Any Girlier?

2009-07-20T23:17:00.005-06:00

Look at what I just stumbled upon.......

I love it. I want it. I must have it.

Tournament Time

2009-07-18T23:29:00.007-06:00

So the story goes, I was leisurely having lunch with my teammate, Ben, last Wednesday when he brought up the fact that there would be a tournament the coming Saturday. I perked at the chance to see how I would fair with just a few days notice. I ended up doing well. I'm improving steadily was able to test my progression. There was only one other woman registered, who just happened to be very comparative in size and strength. It was a really fun match. I got a really sweet single leg takedown right away and maintained dominant position while working for a submission. She was turtling up well and it was hard to force her to give up a limb or something no matter what position I transitioned into. I was in mount and they stood us back up (what?!). I got her against the wall and dragged her down with a double leg and worked dominant position. the reason that I'm telling you guys this is because takedowns were my trouble spot in the last tournament and I've been working on them since. It was paying off. I attribute my takedowns against the wall to Kyle's lesson last Thursday before class. He offered to meet with me early and teach me some of his go-to moves. And I actually retained them and used them! Thanks, Kyle! I finally submitted with a sloppy armbar at the end of the round. After that match the officials approached me and asked me if I wanted to compete in the men's division. Why not, right? So I ended up going against a guy named Tyson and submitted him with a kimura. Sweet! My next match was with Jared from Fusion. He submitted me with an Americana pretty quickly. But I felt good about what I was able to do against him and had alot of fun. Ben was against him his first match and won on points. It was such a great match! Really fun to watch. My last round was with the same girl that I grappled at the beginning. They wanted to give her another match and she requested that it be against me, again. I took my aggression down a few notches and was just wanted to maintain dominant position because I knew that my experience level was a little bit higher than hers. She still couldn't do anything against me. It felt really great. She ended up getting a bloody nose in the second minute and they called the match. I won on points.

Two other Absolute guys were there competing - Chris K and Ben G. They both did so awesomely! Chris' first round was against Bird Dog from Elite. Chris got him in a tight triangle and held onto his arm for the arm lock. The arm lock was really ON and the guy would not tap! Everyone could hear the popping sounds that his arm was making repeatedly and Bird Dog still didn't tap! Finally he tapped. Phew! I thought his arm was going to snap given another second.

Ben ended up being the tournament champion! The guy doesn't lose! He even beat Noah J again (arm lock). Sorry Noah - maybe you'll get him next time! Maybe. Hee hee. The last match was between Chris and Ben for tournament champ. I think that it's awesome that it was between two Absolute guys. Ben won on points. After the tournament Ben told me how surprised he was in his match with Chris. And I quote, "The guy has another gear that I have not experienced in practice before. That was so tough!" That last match between them was the best of the day. It was fast paced and technical. They both are amazing grapplers.

I had alot of fun today and it helped me to see a little bit as to where I'm at in my grappling endeavors and prepared me for the Throwdown Submission challenge which is on August 1st, and coincidentally my birthday. I'd love it if my friends came and watched me in this one. That would make for a really cool birthday!

So sloppy. My left leg should have been over her head.

Chris against Bird Dog. They guys arm is BOWED and he took FOREVER to suck it up and tap out!

The competitors, Chris, me, Ben and our awesome supportive teammate, Bret.

Some Good Old Fighting

2009-07-10T09:20:00.003-06:00

My Jedi powers will be helping Frank Mir, Georges St-Pierre and Dan Henderson. Oh yeah!

Congratulations Camrann and Tseitel!

2009-07-08T23:32:00.002-06:00

I just came back from Camrann and Tse's wedding reception and it was a wicked party! Everything was done to the 9's. Tseitel looked gorgeous and Cam pulled off the suit with Converse All-Stars awesomely.

Check out the engagement pics of the stunning couple that Miyo took.

Cam and Tse, I love you both and hope for all the goodness in the whole world to come your way.

Holy Hot Dang - Kyle Edition

2009-07-08T22:27:00.006-06:00

So this is my kick ass friend, Kyle (Absolute teammate).
The above picture was taken at the Ironman competition in Japan that he recently finished. Is that not the coolest thing?! This was the 2nd Ironman that he's done this year. What a rock star. I'm convinced that he's superhuman. He did 14 hours of exercise! Gah! I'm so proud of him and am inspired by his discipline and dedication to his endeavors. He talked to me for a while last night after jujitsu and he got the wheels turning in my head about maybe doing Ironman South Africa with him which would be 2 years away. Hmmm.

Seriously, I train with the coolest people and the most exceptional athletes. And they all work so well with me. I've been going to MMA team training and most of them have had MMA fights and could most likely take me out instantly if they wanted to. But they don't. Kyle, for instance, always pairs up with me first when we're there together, and will stay at a level where I'm learning and being challenged without ever making me feel bad that I'm not at the level that everyone else is at. I trained some with Superbody (Greg C.) last week and afterwards he said that training with me was good because he got to work out some technical aspects of his fighting rather than try it when some of the others who have lightning quick hands and the strength of the Hulk are facing him. Camrann always makes me feel like an important part of the team. And Rob seems really invested in my success and really pushes me. He's been killing me in jujitsu lately. Killing me! Cannot move or breathe or cry out for help or anything. It's awesome! He knows just how to prepare me for the tournaments. I just love my team. All of them.

Read about Kyle's Ironman here at his training blog, and feel free to offer congratulations if you feel so inclined.

Master Flavio Behring Jujitsu Seminar

2009-06-13T20:02:00.007-06:00

We have had the pleasure of having Master Flavio Behring in our gym all last week. It has been incredible learning from him. He topped the week off with a long seminar on Saturday. It was hot and muggy, but we kept at it and came away better jujitsu fighters. I love that our coach, Rob Handley, invests in us and finds ways to constantly contribute to us learning the very best techniques.

Master Flavio Behring Seminar - 13 June 2009
Chris, Me, William and Dave

My awesome drilling partner, Ben Garner. It's always a huge pleasure working with him and learning from him.

Goofing off with one of my favorite friends, Camrann.

I get to train with some very talented AND handsome men!

Matt and Riley. Riley was just promoted to a blue belt. Huge congratulations!

Chris also was promoted to his blue belt and as tradition has it, you have to go through a whipping gauntlet of those that are your ranking or above. Chris has more than his blue belt to go home and show his mom!

I can't get enough of this sport. It's so interesting and challenging. I'm really starting to see some of my progress. There's nothing like grappling with a new person to see how far you've come and there's nothing like grappling with someone that out-ranks you to see how far you still can go. I love having an opportunity to participate in something like this.

Stefan's Birthday BBQ

2009-06-10T23:35:00.003-06:00

Okay, I know you're probably sick and tired of hearing it, but I just need everyone to know that my brothers are the greatest guys on the planet! Period. Or exclamation point, rather.

Why Hello There, Ginormous Snail

2009-06-10T22:11:00.002-06:00

I just got home from training and this HUGE snail was on my storm door to greet me. I tried to pry him off and put him on the lawn, but he really wanted to stay there and if I would have pulled any harder than I was I probably would have popped his shell right off. Nobody likes a naked snail. Naked snails don't make very many friends. He actually did a very nice job of cleaning a half inch wide and 4' long portion of the window.

Air Force Week

2009-06-03T22:58:00.004-06:00

I meant to inform you all earlier about Air Force Week taking place right now. Check out the list of events and exhibits here. I've really been enjoying the fly-bys and and the will be attending the air show this weekend up at Hill Air Force Base. The Thunderbirds are going to be in it! Man, I've loved the Thunderbirds and The Blue Angels since I was a kid. I think I even had a Blue Angels calendar one year. I really wish that I would've taken an afternoon off of work and participated in the paper airplane contest at the Downtown Library. I think that I could've done well. I became quite the expert at paper airplane making during church on Sundays. My older brother was seriously a paper airplane engineer. He taught me all he knows. I really should have entered. Regrets suck.

Object of the Day

2009-05-31T21:51:00.003-06:00

Everyone that knows me probably had been a victim participant in one of my homemade games. I love making up games. It's most likely because I have the attention span of a toddler on crack. When I'm at work and a bit bored, the guy that I share an office with and I throw magnets at metal cabinets to see who can get closest to the top without going over. Or we'll put targets on the cabinets and try to hit it. I work with all men in our LAL testing department and we are constantly challenging each other with impossible shots into the garbage can with the lids off of the sterile water containers. There are many others that games that I initiate to squelch the intermittent boredom in the lab, but I'll spare you the details.

The latest game and the one that has attracted the most participants has been "Object of the Day". This is a VTS trademark game so don't even think about taking it and selling it. Do we have an agreement? Alright, I will proceed. A couple months ago I was wearing an enormous earring that, by the end of the day, felt like it was going to rip right through my lobe. I was curious to see how much it weighed, so I put it on one of the balances in the lab. It ended up weighing almost 11 grams! I started going around asking people how much they thought my earring weighed and we all had alot of fun guessing. And that's how OOTD was born. I pick an object each day and go around taking everyone's guesses. The person that comes the closest without going over (Price Is Right rules) wins for the day. I've become quite famous for my culinary talents so the person that has the most wins accumulated throughout the month gets to request their favorite treat and I will make it for them. It has gained quite the following. It started with just a few people in my department and then spread to the entire section and now people in other sections are playing. I'm sure that soon it will receive national recognition. Last month, emotions were high because six or seven people were tied with two wins each by last week in May. The guessing started getting very serious.

I just had my annual review and the high scores were given to me on teamwork/fun category. There was special mention of OOTD as being an excellent team building tool. And this is another reason as to why I am indeed the Professor of Awesome. Thankyouverymuch!

Below is a calendar keeping record of the object, how much it weighed and who won for that day. Paul (my office-mate) likes to highlight his achievement. It's kinda cute, how excited he gets when he wins.

Little Bunny Button Cute Pants!

2009-05-29T11:19:00.003-06:00

After a very scary premature delivery, my new nephew, Daniel Niklas, was born. He came this afternoon and was only 3 lbs 2 oz. I don't think that he's in the clear yet, but he's an Alexander, which means he's a total fighter! Doesn't he look so strong and healthy, considering that he came 9 weeks early?
I didn't know that I could feel so much love for someone, until my niece and nephews were introduced to me. I don't think that there's one thing that I wouldn't do for them. I can't hardly wait to be a mom someday. I don't have a romanticized view of marriage and children, so I know that it's going to be really tough and totally unlike what I might prepare for, but I know that I'd be good at it. And looking at the little picture above makes my uterus ache.

I've been spending alot of time lately with these two little pumpkin peanuts:

They are my older brother's kids and my little pals. I don't even get mad when I'm half awake all through the night because plastic farm animals were hidden under my blankets and consequently puncturing my ribs. Is that something that you get used to or even start expecting when you're a mom? Huh?

Saftey and Emissions REJECT

2009-05-28T16:55:00.006-06:00

Thanks for letting me know in HUGE, fuchsia lettering. I definitely got the message.

What's hilarious about this rejection is that I brought the '92 Volvo in for a safety and emissions test with an exhaust leak in the engine and a broken, rattling catalytic converter, totally expecting to get a failed emissions test. I don't even know why I brought it in like that. I think I was hoping that I could bat a few eyelashes and magically get it passed. When they called my name to get the results, I could see my failure notification from across the room. I went up there and was told that the '92 failed because of a wobbly headlight and streaky windshield wipers. What!?! Awesome.

Good Talk, Bro

2009-05-28T12:20:00.001-06:00

Last Sunday, the speaker during sacrament meeting was using his phone to look up and quote scriptures. He apparently had his whole talk on his phone. At first I thought he was texting, and I was thinking that was real classy. When I realized what he was doing I had the guy sitting next to me pull out his ward directory and look up the speaker's number. Unfortunately is wasn't listed. But if it was, he would've received a text from me that would probably have said, "Good talk, bro. Keep it up. Just another 10 minutes."

Only For Rhino

2009-05-28T12:10:00.002-06:00

I changed my mind on the whole owning an animal (besides Super) policy. I would willingly take Rhino the Hamster into my home and put him in my tender care.

My favorite Rhino quote: Sometimes the impossible becomes possible when you are AWESOME!
Well said, my friend.

Game: What Was VTS Working On In The Lab Today?

2009-05-26T12:41:00.003-06:00

I was the lucky one that got to do boring growth promotions and this was the agar plate that I used to temper my inoculating loop before adding organisms. Hello! What were you guessing?

A Sign Of My Age

2009-05-25T23:16:00.002-06:00

I now need to wear a knee brace when I go out dancing.

At least I can still shake my tail feather, right? Right!

I Have A Super Power

2009-05-18T21:47:00.006-06:00

The most amazing thing happened to me today. This is going to blow your mind! I was driving to work this morning and happened to be behind a car with a Minnesota license plate. I saw that the state motto was The Land of 10,000 Lakes. I made a mental note to log that bit of information away because I was sure that I was going to see it in a crossword puzzle at some point in my life. Well, I usually pull out a crossword at lunch and try to complete it in my half hour break. I was working diligently on the one that you see below and when I reached 22 across, I couldn't believe it. Whoa. I know! I must be magical. I'm convinced of it.

The Q And The A

2009-05-18T21:38:00.007-06:00

Natalie said...
and? And?? AND??? what exactly transpired between your lovely hotness and this gentleman with a knack for grocery shopping and lady spotting? A prolonged gaze? A smile? A wink? Actual speaking? Digits? Come now. He doesn't read this blog. But if he does, then he's a creep. And you don't date creeps.
May 13, 2009 10:16 PM

VTS says...
So......................I pull up at Harmon's and this huge, shiny black truck swoops in and snakes the spot that I was going to park in. I'm a tiny bit miffed and just figure that this guy is a big tool and park in another spot. I glanced at his truck as I drive by and see a logo on the back that makes me think that he's a MMA fighter. He lingers in his truck for a little bit and gets out right when I walked by. He said hi to me and then apologized for taking the spot when it was clear that I intended to park there. He said that he just wasn't paying attention. I told him that it was ok and that he's lucky that I wasn't an old lady or a cripple, then he'd really be sorry. He thought that was funny and we joked for a second. I then asked him about the window sticker on his truck. Turns out that it's not associated with fighting at all, and he explained what it meant. And that's about the point where I felt stupid. Not that the conversation was awkward or anything, it's just that I realized that this guy was awesome and charming and handsome and I wanted him to ask me out and I didn't think that he would because I was just coming from a couple hours of training and was pretty sure that a bearded lady would have looked more appealing than I did at that time. And he didn't. So I went into the store and did my shopping and was walking out when I saw that he was coming out of the other exit. He sees me and waves and does this cute hurried jaunt over to where I was. He walks me to my car and compliments me on the "healthiness" of the items that he saw I purchased. He then asks for my number and tells me that he thinks I'm really cool and wants to get to know me better. I gave him my number and told him that I thought the same thing. And he did call. And we went out last weekend. YAY!

The great thing about this situation is that it was so easy. I didn't have to make all the efforts. He just went for it. And I liked it!

The date was good but we really didn't have alot in common. It seemed like we ran out of things to talk about toward the end, which is weird because we all know that I'm a World Champion talker. I can talk to just about anyone. Well, it's too early to tell.

Ok, so I just re-read what I wrote up there and it is majorly LAME! BORING! YAWN INDUCING! And the last thing that I want to do is become one of those bloggers. I've even considered not posting it, but then I figure that I'd have to answer the questions at some point. So, enjoy!

Geeking It Up

2009-05-10T22:17:00.002-06:00

If you thought this was hysterical, then let's be friends forever.

While we're in Geektown, does anyone want to go see Star Trek with me? Or Wolverine? Anyone? Anyone? Damn.

All Too Familiar

2009-05-10T11:43:00.002-06:00

Having only brothers, I swear I've been in this exact situation multiple times before. We always slapped each other around a bit. The great thing is that we all became best friends. I'd rather hang out with my brothers and their wives more than anyone else.

Back In The Saddle Again!

2009-05-04T22:37:00.004-06:00

I might have just found refuge from the dating desert. The oasis appeared tonight in the form of a handsome man in the parking lot of Harmon's grocery. I was in sweatpants and had just come from the gym. I'm sure that it can only go uphill from here.

It's exciting, right!?!

Just wait until he finds out that I can sing House of Pain's, Insane In The Brain like a pro. He'll be putty in my hands.

More Randomness? Yes, Please.

2009-04-26T20:07:00.008-06:00

Last night, in my dreams, I was repeatedly stabbed in the back as well as had a steel rod rammed through me. When I woke up I realized that a jumbo feather from my down comforter was lodged in my T-shirt, right in the middle of my back.
Thursday night, on the way home from the gym, I was stopped at light as I was approaching State street. I looked to my left and there was a naked man running down the street about a half a block away. As hilarious as that is, it isn't the interesting part of the story. Wait for it. A couple of cop cars were headed that direction and so those of us at the intersection weren't able to move ahead even though the light was green. Across the intersection, in the left turn lane, there was a guy in a truck behind the lead car (who was waiting for the cops to pass through) who was honking his horn and yelling out the window for the car in front of him to move. The guy in the lead car gets out of his vehicle and is telling the guy in the truck to get out and fight him. Let's not disregard the exorbitant amount of expletives used in this exchange. The cops were through the intersection by this time and the light had turned green again. Luckily there was no one behind me and I just sat through the green light again watching this. Nothing beats this sort of entertainment. The guy has no luck in getting the other guy to get out of his truck, so he proceeds to CLIMB ON THE HOOD AND PUNCH AT THE WINDSHIELD! The guy in the truck is screaming his head off at the other guy, so loud that I could hear it from across the road. Cars were approaching behind me at this point and felt it necessary to pull forward so I didn't get to see whether or not the one guy actually broke through the windshield. In any case, it was awesome!
Do you guys read Seriously, So Blessed? So you know how she shamelessly talks about her amazingly awesome life? So shamelessly that you sometimes throw up in your mouth a little bit? Well, I feel like word vomit is bubbling up about how cool my super fantastic life is. I feel that way because I finally found out how to be happy. No circumstance in my life has drastically changed to make me happy. I'm thinking that the secret to my success in this is that I finally took a good long look at my faults and listened to what others had to say about my weaknesses. When I was really honest with myself I realized that I actually am stubborn, argumentative, unnecessarily emotional, constantly seeking approval, and really insecure. And not to say that I’m not any of those things anymore, I’m just saying that I’ve been vigilant about working on them. Working on changing these things while accepting that I'm not a terrible and unlovable person for displaying these qualities and knowing that I will overcome them, has made me a more confident and happy person. Cool, huh?
I have an exercise ball that I use to practice core stability for jujitsu. I kneel on it and balance for a while. Then I transition to cross-body, to knee on belly, to mount...you get the idea. So what happens when I get mildly proficient at something is that I suddenly think that I'm a pro and go for it like it's the World Championships. It's embarrassing. I was feeling really comfortable and working all sorts of positions when the ball slips massively out from under me and throws me into my bookcase. It hurt so badly. I don't have words for the pain. I now have all these scratches and rug burns on my jawline, chin and neck.
It's getting harder and harder to go to church by myself. Anyone have any advice on that?
I'm taking a new multivitamin that is turning my pee the most fierce shade of yellow I have ever seen. I'm drinking something like 6 liters of water a day and even that won't dilute the color. It's craziness I tell you. The cleaner that is used to clean the toilets at work is orange and I secretly enjoy when I'm the first one to use the restroom after the janitors are done. The combination of the violent yellow and the orange makes the prettiest pink color ever! And I would want to paint a young girls room that color and call it multivitamin-cleaner-pee-pink. TMI? I apologize. I won't do it again. I take it back...I can't promise that at all.
I have forgotten how to date. It's true! A couple of friends have recently commented that it seemed like I dated alot when they first met me and now they hardly hear of any exploits. I think that my last date was last summer. Tragic! The funny thing is that last Fall I decided that I didn't want to date anymore because I wanted to focus on making some changes. So I didn't put myself out there at all. Now that I feel that I've improved upon myself and am ready to get back in the dating scene, I just don't know how to do it. Seriously! This is no joking matter! I've lost my touch. And it also just goes to show that if you want to date, you will. And if you don't want to date, you won't. I wonder if I got too comfortable with the idea of being single. It's really not a bad place to be. But I do know that I have too much love to give and too much of a desire to nurture and use my talents to be single forever.
I think there was something else that I want to say, but I can't for the life of me think of what it is. Hmmmm. Maybe later.

2009-04-23T20:37:00.004-06:00

Uncharacteristically of me, I thought this was cute.

Mark Your Calendars

2009-04-19T20:19:00.004-06:00

Jeremy Horn's Elite Fight Night is coming up on 01 May 2009 at the Davis Conference Center. Two killers, John Sharp and Steve Sharp are fighting in this show. You know when the Sharp's get in the cage you're going to witness something incredible. Check out the fight card here. Please come out and support the local shows. At the last Fight Night I had girls night out with a couple of friends, while the guys went to a movie. Hah!

There's A New Sheriff In Town

2009-04-18T10:56:00.006-06:00

Yes, that's right. Let's just leave the circumstances behind this picture out of it. Oh, and beware the next time that you stick a cheap fake moustache to your face. You just might get a tiny bit of a rash where the moustache once laid.

NinPeepJitsu

2009-04-11T22:23:00.004-06:00

Did you guys happen to see the Washington Post Peep Diorama Contest? It's wicked cool - go check it out. Here are a couple of my faves:

The contest inspired me and I decided to create my own Peep diorama. I'm calling it NinPeepJitsu, a.k.a. The Diorama of Awesomeness.

Oh yes, I have better things to do than hand paint Peeps to look like ninjas, I just didn't do them. And yes, I did google "ninja weaponry" to get the designs for the sai and throwing stars. And FYI, the one Peep is supposed to appear to be zip-lining from his secret ninja spot for a surprise attack. Hello!

Packing

2009-04-11T16:06:00.001-06:00

Today I attended a 4 hour class on gun safety and gun laws that is required to obtain a concealed weapons permit. I went with 5 other guys that I work with. One of them showed up with this shirt:
But from what I observed today, happiness is correcting the state licenced teacher on gun terminology and ammunition types. I've never seen my friends so pleased with themselves. They were like little school boys showing me their pistols and revolvers and such. "Hey Vaness, wanna check out my Ruger SR9 9mm pistol?" or "Hey Vaness, I have my AR 15 in the trunk. Wanna go to the range and shoot it?" It was such a great day.

Have You Seen This Sock?

2009-04-05T23:59:00.002-06:00

Because I'm pretty sure that it grew legs and ran away. I can't find it anywhere!

Happy Birthday, Old Man

2009-04-01T22:40:00.005-06:00

Who expects a birthday lunch on April Fools Day at a welding shop?

Happy Birthday, Camrann! I can't get enough of your awesomeness. I hope that this year brings you more fun and happiness than you expect to see in a lifetime.
The pic below is of BenG lighting the best damn double layer carrot cake the world has ever seen. No lie. The recipe is in the Gourmet cookbook, and contains coconut and crushed pineapple. Go check it out. You won't be dissapointed. I'm salivating just thinking about it.
And look at what was the backdrop for luncheon...
The pirate flag that we spent an hour at the Nicklecade trying to get last year!

Submission Challenge

2009-04-01T17:51:00.013-06:00

Last Saturday I participated in a submission only grappling tournament down in Orem. And I totally got first place in the women's middleweight division! I'm embarrassed at how excited I was that I won. I was exceptionally nervous prior to the tournament and now I can't wait until the next one. The best part was having the support and encouragement of almost my entire team. So many of them were there participating and watching. I don't have very many pics. We were all busy running to each others matches. The camera was unfortunately forgotten.

Thanks to Miyo for the following couple of pictures.

Getting the takedown with a head throw.

Attempting the triangle choke. Transitioned from there into an armbar for the tap.
My first place trophy: A sweet mini samurai sword. Awards
With my AWESOME coach, Rob. I wouldn't be any good without him! Please excuse my haggardness.
I love this pic of Steve Sharp and Noah. Somehow they ended up in the same weight class. WTF? I know! Noah was making Steve look Fun Sized. Back: Denver, Kevin, Me, Coach Rob, Camrann, Ricky, Curtis, Matt and Riley

Front: Steve, Robert, Ben and Josh.

Most of the team placed, if not first. In the Intermediate Lightweight division our guys received first (Denver), second (Josh), and third (Riley). It doesn't get any better than Team Absolute!

Coach with the prodigy, Ben Garner.
The whole experience was really great. I know that I could have done better though. I was holding submissions that weren't working too long and I was really timid on the takedowns. And I swear that I forgot half of what I know. But now I know what I need to work on and what to expect for the next tournament. And yes, you guys can come. June 6th. Yeah!

Can't Get Enough Sharp

2009-03-29T18:11:00.005-06:00

Congratulations to John Sharp for his awesome first round KO against Cody Udy last Friday at Jeremy Horn's Elite Fight Night. It was wicked! This was his long awaited return to the cage and it was an awesome win. I can't hardly wait for John's next fight. What a warrior. Dave Komarov was also on the fight card and won by submission: rear naked choke. What sucked was that I was down in Orem weighing in for the grappling tournament which was taking place the next day, and I missed Dave's fight. I saw the submission from the lobby of the Davis Conference Center as I was going through security. I heard it was a good fight though. I'm so proud of Team Absolute!
Go and check out awesome photos of John's fight at Miyo's blog. Set 1 Set 2. One of my favorite photos of all time is the second one in set 2 where Rob, Cam and The Wrecker are all congratulating John. What a joyful moment. My little heart absolutely loves that image. Great work, Miyo!

Happy St. Patty's Day To Ye

2009-03-16T13:21:00.006-06:00

I decided that tomorrow I'm going to go Ye Olde Village Baker for lunch and having a corned beef and cabbage sandwich. Because that's what you do on St. Patrick's Day, eh. Oh, and then I'm going to listen to a truckload of Dropkick Murphy's and Flogging Molly. Yeah, and then lift up a stein and sing loudly and off key. How about ye?

Going International

2009-03-16T09:11:00.004-06:00

Is my awesome cousin, Bjorn reading this? If so, how in the world did you find this? I'm hoping that it's you and not some German creeper with the same name. I'd love to get back in touch with you!

Fight Night Recap

2009-03-15T14:32:00.004-06:00

On February 20th, the Throwdown ETC in Orem put on another fight night. Both Steve Sharp and Camrann Pacheco were fighting again. They were AWESOME! I'm so proud of my guys!

Camrann was up against Olly Bradstreet and won by split decision. It was a really great fight to watch if you like jujitsu. Cam had Olly in his guard almost the whole time and was working submissions from there. Cam had a wicked triangle on Olly at the end of the second round but Olly was saved by the bell. Seriously, this guy was purple and gurgling. Cam's jits is tight! Man, I love Cam.

Steve was fighting Dayne Aristizabal, a wicked jujitsu fighter. I've seen him fight at the last couple of Throwdown events and submission grappling tournaments and have been really impressed with him. When I heard that he was taking on Steve, I was really excited for that fight to happen. This guy has got to be fearless for him to have had only two fights prior and then taking a fight with seasoned Steve freaking Razor Sharp. Hello! I admire him for that. Steve ended up getting a knockout at the end of the first round. They stood up the whole round. It was awesome. Great exchanges.

Anyway, you can read more about it here at Absolute MMA's blogspot. Also check out Miyo's incredible photos: Cam's fight Steve's fight

Jeremy Horn's Elite Fight Night is happening on March 27th, 7:30pm @ The Davis Conference Center in Layton. Absolute MMA has a couple fighters in it. John Sharp (Steve's bro) is fighting Cody Udy and Dave Komarov is up against Eric Tilletson. I'm anxious to see John's fight. This guy is so great and just stepped in last week to fill in for one of our other fighters. He's been training hard and I just know that he's going to come out of this with a win. Let me know if you want to come. If I get tickets from the gym our fighters get more money. So support Absolute fighters!

Grumpy Pants

2009-03-15T14:08:00.005-06:00

I had a recent house guest. She thought that my little eye mask was hilarious and decided to take some flattering pictures with my camera while I was sleeping.

I will snap you like a chicken! Waking up is hard for me.

Also, it may appear that I'm naked, but I'm not. I'm an active sleeper and don't think twice when I wake up with one of my arms through the head hole on my T-shirt and my top sheet wrapped 4 times around my leg. Or when my mattress is hanging three feet off of my box spring. Or when I wake up on the floor with one leg still on the bed. Oh yes, it happens.

My excuse for the lack of blogging is not that Facebook took me away (even though I do enjoy Facebook quite a bit), but the fact that I haven't had internet at my house for about a month now. I was "borrowing" the internet from my neighbors at my duplex and then they moved. I've just been too lazy/busy to get my own internet access after that. But I'm hooking it up this week.

VD

2009-02-11T17:41:00.004-07:00

Valentine's Day.............HELLO!

I don't know if you know this but I LOVE being single. I really do. Not that I wouldn't jump on the chance to be in a relationship or get married, but I am really quite content with the fact that I am single. I haven't always felt that way, but I'm really happy about some changes that I've made lately and I'm really loving my life. I'm well aware that this paragraph sounds exceptionally cheesey, but I don't really care.

So as I think about Valentine's Day and my lack of romantic involvement, I dwell upon the idea that I couldn't settle for anyone that wouldn't know me so well as to get me the box of candy that I saw at Target the other day. It was a holographic picture of Darth Vader and above his head it said, "I Am Your.........", and then you move the box slightly and it's a picture of Anakin with ".....Valentine" underneath him. It was awesome. Yes, I am also well aware that I am a total dork, but I'm ok with that.

Awesome Quote

2009-02-11T16:55:00.000-07:00

"He is so disciplined that he makes disciplined people look lazy."

-Joe Rogan on GSP after his fight against BJ Penn

Holy Hot Dang: Fighter Edition

2009-01-27T06:40:00.004-07:00

It doesn't get much better than Georges St-Pierre. He's one of my favorite fighters. He's probably everyone's favorite fighter. And he's not too hard to look at either. He just seems like a really classy guy compared to some of the thugs out there. Check out this recent article. I appreciate the way he wants to help out the image of ultimate fighting. Also, go to this page, which is Georges home page of his website. Just open it up and wait there. A French rap song will start playing and for some reason I find it hilarious. It's just so bad. I need to somehow find out what it is and download it because it just lightens my mood tremendously whenever I hear it. I crack myself up. Sheesh.

So anyway, check out UFC 94 this Saturday on Pay Per View. Georges St-Pierre is going to be defending his welterweight title against B.J. Penn. It should be a really good fight, even though I'm confident that GSP will be winning the fight in the first round. Ok, maybe early in the second. In any case, it will be epic. Let's have a discussion about it later.

Eye Candy

2009-01-08T23:57:00.005-07:00

Chris, Ben, Levi, Rob, Camrann, and Robert

Some of my favorite men! I took this right before the fights started last Saturday night. Update on that coming soon! In the meantime, check out Miyo's excellent photos of Robert's and Riley's fights. She was front row to the cage. Lucky!

Confession

2009-01-07T23:10:00.000-07:00

I park in the same spot everyday at work. I back into a space on the far side of the upper parking lot. The reason for this is because the conformation of the parking lot makes it so that I feel like a race car driver when I'm leaving. I peel out and make a hard right to avoid the little island next to me and then a hard left hugging another island, then a hard right to the exit of the parking lot and then crank left immediately onto the drive. It's awesome. And I get mad whenever someone snakes my spot. People ask me all the time why I park in that same far away slot even when the parking lot is empty and I never tell them for fear that they will see how brilliant my parking spot really is and want the thrill that the parking spot will inevitably give them. So don't tell anyone.

Gerald McBoing Boing

2009-01-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

I was introduced to this cartoon by someone who had a Gerald McBoing Boing tattoo. I'm a big fan of Mr. McBoing Boing. And I'm pretty sure that it's the greatest last name ever. If I were to marry, I would want that last name. Or McCool. Or McQueen. Obviously it's got to be a Mc something.

On a somewhat related note, I have to ask why all boys are naturally gifted with the talent of making sound effects? I grew up with all brothers and they were amazing at imitating a huge explosion or the sound of a machine gun. I always tried to join in but my machine gun noise (no matter how long I practiced privately in the confines of my room) was more like just saying rat-ta-tat-tat. I'm ashamed. I think there is a sound effect gene that is only found on the Y chromosome.

Awesome Quote of the Week

2009-01-07T22:39:00.003-07:00

"I love hot dogs! I don't even care what's in them.......crack, babies, whatever."

-Ben (at Jeremy Horn's Elite Fight Night)

Work? What's That About?

2008-12-27T08:55:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was a pretty chill day at the lab. Only a handful of us were there, and we only did the most minimal amount of work that one could possibly do. Only the MUST DO'S were done. And unfortunately the work I do comprised most of the MUST DO list.

Here are some of the guys I work with in a nice panoramic view of the lab.
And here is a snippet of what we spent part of the day doing while waiting to pull things from the incubators.

They all might be in their 30's, but they sure can regress to their teens in the drop of a dime.

This is Quinton, who previously had a full, grizzly beard. He came in sporting a Merry Christmoustache.

My PIC, Ashley, left this in my locker just before she left for home in Texas.

She made a VTS doll and a Batman symbol out of masking tape. She's made these infamous "tape babies" for others in the lab over the last year. This is my first time receiving one. I feel so honored. Best Christmas present ever!

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, surrounded with friends and family and good food!

Welcome to Fight Club

2008-12-23T22:17:00.007-07:00

"Welcome to fight club!" That's what Pedro says to me anytime I get hurt or am feeling tortured because I'm often contorted into positions that are super uncomfortable (that's an understatement). You want to know how many times I've been welcomed to fight club? Too many. I am very familiar with fight club, let me just say that. I've been training regularly for a whole year now. I can't believe it. It's had it's ups and downs. Overall I've enjoyed it immensely, but there are days (that sometimes stretch into weeks) that I ask myself why I subject myself to this. But something always brings me back. Sometimes it's the people that call me and and ask if I'm coming in that night, and tell me to bring my best moves because they're ready to put the squeeze on me. Sometimes it's just the overwhelming sense of accomplishment that I feel after I've done a hard workout. That feeling is addictive. But mostly it's because the sport is just so damn cool. I love how disciplined and focused that you have to be in order to really get it down. I love how technical it is. I just really love it. Not everyday, but the feeling always returns somehow.

I just got in one last jujitsu session before the gym closed for the holidays. We were working on the same takedowns that we were doing when I chipped my tooth last week. I forgot my mouthguard at home (I scrubbed it and left it on a towel to dry instead of putting it in my gym bag) and came down hard on my partner's head. "Welcome to fight club!" Shut up. I was a little tentative tonight when we started, but I got over it.

My pal, Riley, is fighting on January 3rd in Jeremy Horn's Elite Fight Night. He's looking really good! He always trains really hard and very regularly. This is his first fight and I'm really excited to see how it goes. I'm a huge fan of this guy. Here he is tonight getting some fluid from his ear drained by our coach, Rob. Such a pleasant experience.

Robert Densley is also fighting in the Elite Fight Night. He was there tonight doing rounds with Camran, Riley, Keith and Kyle. I love watching those guys. All very talented athletes!

Here are a couple of my other pals, Kyle and Keith. And yes, they're twins. Keith is out here in Utah for a few weeks/months visiting Kyle and training at Absolute with us. He came here from Virginia where he's been training in MMA regularly. It's nice to have him here. He taught me an extra cool half-guard sweep the other day. I tried using it tonight but it just got me in more trouble. That's the story of my training.

Come the the Fight Night on 03 January 2009. Oh, and don't forget to watch UFC 92 on 27 December 2008. The fight card looks AWESOME! I'm actually going to skip the wedding reception of a good friend of mine to watch these fights. It's going to be that good. Now I just need to find someplace to watch it. Hmmm? Any takers?

Awesome Quote of the Week

2008-12-22T23:14:00.004-07:00

Mark, my older brother, and I went to the Nickelcade a few days ago. I just knew that he'd love that Star Wars game that I've told you guys about numerous times before. Well, we were at the level where you deposit your missiles into the main reactor, but in order to get to the main reactor you have to defend against massive amounts of TIE fighters. You are playing the role of Luke Skywalker in this game, naturally, and therefore are in a X-wing fighter. Mark wasn't very good at knocking off the TIE fighters before they aimed their missiles at him. He died frequently. After a few attempts, he turns to me and with exasperation in his voice says, "Ness, I could totally take on these guys if I were in the Falcon." And you could tell that he really believed that.

Resourcefulness Is His Game

2008-12-22T16:28:00.002-07:00

Remember the guy wearing this shirt? Well, he came in wearing another classic:

A MacGyver shirt! I used to LOVE that show as a kid. We weren't allowed to watch TV during the school week, except when we displayed exceptional behavior and finished our homework. My brothers and I would always choose an episode of MacGyver. I recently saw a re-run and am baffled as to why I thought this show was so spectacular.
It must have been the mullet.

Getting Festive

2008-12-20T20:40:00.000-07:00

My mother travels to Germany almost every year to see her friends and family. Two years ago she brought back a "Raucher Manchen" (a little smoking man) and gave it to me for Christmas. The torso comes off, you light incense cones and replace the top. The smoke from the incense comes out of its mouthhole, resembling him smoking a pipe. I was thrilled to have one. It was made out of wood from the Black Forrest in the southeastern part of Germany.

Last year she brought back a three story "Weihnacht's Pyramide" (Christmas Pyramid). It's a traditional German nativity. My dad purchased one on his mission to Germany in nineteen seventy something, and we displayed it in the dining room as the centerpiece every Christmas. I always wished that I had one. It wasn't until I was at home last Christmas that I made it known to my mother. I asked her if I could inherit dad's. She just smiled and said that perhaps one day I might get one. I was beyond happy when I opened my present a few days later and it was a Weihnacht's Pyramide. Mom said that she was so surprised when I mentioned how badly I wanted one. She thought that I may have peeked at the presents. Nope. She just picked the perfect present.

Isn't it beautiful?

I wonder if I'm going to get something from Erzgebirge this year. No pressure though.

I Know Her! We're Total Pals!

2008-12-20T17:18:00.002-07:00

You know those extra awesome people that make you feel like a rock star because somehow they want to be your friend? And you are automatically exponentially cooler just because of your association with them? Well, that's how I feel about my friend, Tiffany. Tragically, she moved to Delaware last August and now I can only recommend getting to know her through her blog. The woman is unmatched in sassiness and wit. Prior to reading her latest post, I didn't know that I could laugh as loud as I did and for as long as I did. The giveaway she recently had was unlike any other. I was digging back into the archives and want to suggest that you read this and this and this. You won't be disappointed. Man, don't you just think I'm infinitely cooler now?

Who Peed In My Panties?

2008-12-10T21:29:00.003-07:00

That's a great question, Liesl. How about you try to figure that one out yourself.

She's Crafty

2008-12-10T21:12:00.003-07:00

You bet your boots I made it all by myself! Best snowflake this side of the Mississippi.
I love those Homer's! This was our post Sunday dinner activity. Thanks for the invite!

Awesome Quote of The Day

2008-12-08T22:15:00.004-07:00

"Dude, if Zac Efron were in detention, I would punch a teacher in the face to get in there."

-Lucy B. (15)

JT Just Made VTS' Awesome List

2008-12-04T11:24:00.001-07:00

Have you guys seen this? I'm erupting into fits of giggles.

If you don't know what that parody is based off of, watch the following video:

Uhm, could someone please explain to me what is on her left hand. It looks like a mechanical appendage that both Luke and Anakin have in the Star Wars movies (almost anything can be given a Star Wars reference).

I'm actually digging Beyonce's moves. I was surprised by how many girls filmed themselves in their living rooms doing this dance and put it on You Tube . Why would you do that? Or rather, why would you post it on You Tube where everyone is inevitably going to laugh at you? It baffles me.

Also, on an unrelated note, you have got to check out Jessi's most recent post. I didn't realize that I could laugh that hard. Mercy! Check out her whole blog. She's an absolute riot!