The Showdown. Be There!

I have a very important announcement to make. It involves two men and a cage.

Do you want to see something that will send your heart racing? Do you want to see men who are trained and conditioned to almost superhuman ability? Do you want to see men with intense discipline and fortitude battle it out for victory? Do you want your world to be rocked? COME TO THE FIGHTS!

On Friday April 18th at the McKay Events Center in Orem, Throwdown Elite Training Center is hosting The Showdown. Although I enjoy going to all the fights, I have special interest in this one. Camrann Pacheco, frequent commenter on this blog and instructor at the gym I train at, is entering the octagon. And of course I will support Cam 100% in all that he does. This guy is a machine. I feel sorry for his opponent. Truly, I'm sorry. I know what Camrann can do. I've taken kicks from Cam when he was using only half the power that he's capable of, and have ended up with bruises the size of bowling balls. This guys form and power is something that many of us at the gym aspire to. You're not going to want to miss this fight. Trust me. I predict Camrann takes the win by knockout. I can sense it by using the force.

A little Showdown snack:

Fight Card

Mike Whitehead vs Soakai Pulu

Hvy
Travis Marx vs Rad Martinez

155 lb
Derek Downey vs Tim Panter

185 lb
Dan Gardner vs Casey Carter

170 lb
Tua Lino vs Eric Fredrickson

Hvy
Camrann Pacheco vs Casey Beckstead

145 lb
Paul Sizemore vs Tallon Tores

185lb
Dan Bishop vs Craig Ross

145 lb
Usabio Sams vs Harold Lucambio

170 lb
Alexis Burkman vs Johnny Miller

135 lb

Derek Downey has been to Absolute and has trained with some amazing fighters. His ground game is excellent and I am extremely excited to see him participate in a MMA fight.

Ben's younger brother, Johnny Miller, is also a contender. I saw him fight at the Weber County Fair last August. This guy is fierce! I didn't understand too much about MMA back then, but I thought it was the best fight. We sat front row, and at one point Johnny had his opponent on the ground against the cage and he was standing up over him landing some really hard hits. Intense. But I've been informed that we're mortal enemies because we train at different gyms. Both him and Ben train at Bernales Institute of Martial Arts and I'm at Absolute. I love it! I've always wanted someone to call a mortal enemy! It sounds so...Mortal Kombat. Harold is another fighter that trains at Bernales. I saw him grapple at a tournament last year and he was very good. He just fought last weekend at Jeremy Horn's Fight Night and lost. So he's going to be going hard for the win. These fights should be awesome. Trust me.

Anyone reading this should come. And I can get tickets! You can enjoy a night full of action with me for only $20! I should re-phrase that sentence. Nah. You know what I mean. Come and support local fighting. Which in turn will support me! I want you to come! RSVP in the comment section. If you aren't able to make it, I want to know why! I need all my readers to leave a response.

The Best Part About Having My Own Place...

is that when my room looks like this:
I can just go and sleep in the guest room.

Oh, and using the blender at 5am.

And walking around naked.

And curling up on the couch reading for hours while drinking an entire 2 liter bottle of Diet Coke and a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs and have no one witness it. You know, in case I ever wanted to do that.

My Pal. My Bro.

Stefan Ulrich Alexander

(a name doesn't get much sexier than that)

It's my brother. Younger brother. I call him Stefy. He calls me Nessy. We're pretty much best friends. And thugs.

A chuck kick? Constipation? Take a guess.

It's been a recent realization that we don't hang around each other because of familial obligation, but because we genuinely enjoy each others friendship. Whoa! When did that happen? His wife has been out of town a few times in the last couple of months, leaving me and Stef here to have our own fun. Mostly that has consisted of eating gyros from Yanni's and watching Jazz games.

Last week I got a tutorial on ridiculously expensive automobiles. And I think I fell in love. With the Mercedes McLaren SLR.

Holy hot dang!

After being informed of its engine and speed capabilities, I knew that I had to have one. Now I just need to find 450,000 dollar bills somewhere. Because its not under my mattress. Though I do make a seven figure income. If you count the numbers that come after the decimal. No matter, you really can't beat driving around a '92 Volvo.

Stef really wants the new Camaro. The one that made its debut on Transformers. Drool. Check it out:

Wouldn't you just want to drive around all day? And then make out in it?

Note: Stef likes to call it a "marrow". And he sounds so cool saying it like that. If I try, I just end up sounding like a big dork.

Do you want to know what the most expensive car in the world is? Brace yourselves. It's pretty awesome.

The Bugatti Veyron. Isn't the name intense? I think I want to name my firstborn Veyron. Anyway, guess how much this street legal Formula One car costs? If your guess is in the range of more than you'll ever make in your lifetime, you're probably right. Wait for it...$1,700,000! I might have to wait a few years before purchasing this. You know, because I don't want it to be an impulse buy.

Do you want to know which car I originally fell in love with? A '67 GTO. My dad used to have one, but sold it back when I was really young. I saw it in the movie Bandits and just knew that we were meant for each other. I can vividly picture myself driving this car. Someday.

Back to my brother.

The guy is a champ. Mark, Nik and I, were born right in a row. One year after the next. Stef came 5 years later. The little guy worked hard to keep up. He refused to accept the fact that he was too little to do the things that his older siblings were doing. He was friends with all our friends. He became really athletic and could hold his own on anything we did. And was usually better than us too. The kid is impressive.

This is how I remember him:

The skinny little punk.

He LOVES Super. When he comes over, he'll make a special stop at Super's tank and talk to him a little bit. Maybe give him a pinch of fish flakes. Just in case I was starving him or something.

Funniest thing. I mentioned that I hadn't seen Beowulf yet and that we should rent it. He looked at me sternly and told me never, ever to see it. He then proceeds to tell me of graphic limb ripping and dismemberment and then the eating of the dismembered head. His eyes were all wide as he retold the images that were burned into his brain. Man, it was so funny. So don't see Beowulf. This is your warning.

Stef's a good pal. We just signed up as a team for my company's annual golf tournament. He's setting goals for improvement so that we don't look foolish when it's tournament time.

Simply put, the guy is awesome.

Seriously, This Is Incredible!

My friend Tiffany, sent me this story. I usually hate forwarded mail, but I really enjoyed this one. Please read it in its entirety.

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe' s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly .

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

April 1

For a known jokester, I did not pull one April Fools Day prank. Tragic. I know that people around me where bracing themselves wondering when one was coming. Nothing.

Yesterday I read an article that talked of the best April Fools Day pranks in history. This was a really fun read. Someday, when I'm filthy rich and clever enough to think of a wicked awesome prank, I'm going to make the list. Just you wait.

My personal favorite was of an Arizona newspaper that ran an article about a new charity formed that would benefit the homeless, called 'The Arm the Homeless Coalition.' This new organization would provide the homeless with guns and ammunition. And the public bought it! It got national attention before it was revealed that it was a joke. Man, that was pure genius.

The president of the lab I work for made an announcement that there would be coffee and donuts in the lunchroom to celebrate good invoicing for the previous month. Everyone started filing down the stairs and into the lunchroom where the president and the lab manager were there just laughing at everyone. Not just a chuckle either. No, this was a bent over and tears in the eyes kind of laugh. No one else thought it was that funny. Later that afternoon there was another page telling us that they were sorry and that there really are donuts and OJ down in the lunchroom this time. Nope. Still a joke. And it was even funnier to them this time around. Jerks.

Damn You Jessi...

For making me curious.

If I were President, I'd be Baberaham Lincoln.

I Hate Forwards!

I got the following email from someone at work today. It seems like the type of email that you would get if you were 14 and would forward to the boy you liked in a moment of insanity, and then check your email 1000 times a day in hope that he would've responded. But this was sent to me by a 40 year old Latin woman. Awesome. I couldn't respond seriously to these questions. But I'm not sure if she thought it was funny or not. She might have taken offense at my attempt at humoring her. She never responded.

You're on my friends list. I'd like to know things about you. You'll be surprised how much you didn't know about your friends. Fill in the answers & forward to all of your friends, including me. Have fun!

1. Do you have a tattoo? Yes. It's of Olando Bloom-naked!


2. How old are you? Mentally or physically? These questions need to be more specific. I have the mental competence and wisdom of a 48 year old, but look like I'm 21.


3. Are you single or taken? That depends on Mark Walberg. If he will leave his girlfriend and finally be mine, I'm taken. All other men are way beneath me.


4. Eat with your hands or utensils? Hands. For sure. I like to pretend that I live in the dark ages.


5. Do you dream at night? A man that specializes in skin diseases has a dream that he falls asleep in front of the TV. He then wakes up in fron of the TV, but no longer remembers his dream. That's what I dream about.

6. Ever seen a corpse? Uhm...I've eaten a corpse!


7. George Strait or Jay Z? I'd rather eat sheep testicles than choose.


8. How did we meet? At the strip bar. You are an amazing dancer. Wait...I might be confusing you with someone else. Did we meet on MySpace?


HERE COMES THE EQUALLY INTERESTING PART

9. Whats your philosophy on life & death? If you don't die today, there's always tomorrow.


10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know, what would it be? Is this supposed to be scandalous? If so, I'd have to say that I would want to rob a bank at gunpoint and then go home and have a pillow fight that evolves into a tickle fight.

11. Do you trust the police? No. I have this bad habit of believing that everything that happens in the movies is reality and every organization is corrupt.

12. Do you have a crush on me? Ohhh yeeeaaah! I thought you'd never ask!


13. What is your fondest memory of me? That time we met the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in that sewer and Donatello gave us bow staff lessons. Yeah, that was awesome.


14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? It's pretty tough being completely irresistable all the time. Sometimes I wish I were just a little less gorgeous and charming.


15. Would you cheat? At Battleship? Sure! Who doesn't?


16. What do you wear to sleep? A Scooby-Doo costume.


17. Have you ever peed in a pool? Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?


18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to? Not if I'm too busy hiding my own evidence.


19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? Probably sit around my house for a while and watch Sports Center. Maybe get a bite to eat at Wendy's...

20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair? On men? Medium. I like it when a guy goes too long between haircuts and it starts getting long in the back, kinda growing into the beginnings of a mullet or a tail. You know...like Ben's hair right before he gets it cut.


21. Do you sing in the shower? Only Celine Dion songs.


22. What's your favorite color? A cross between pee-yellow and puke-green.


23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, it would be? Sadam Hussein. Just so I could be the one to kick his ass and send him back to his grave.


24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you. I like eating asparagus for the sole reason of the way your pee smells the day after.

25. What was your first impression of me? You shook my hand with gloves on. I was a little grossed out because I didn't know what those gloves were previously touching. I was like..."Who does that!?" Just kidding Hilda! I've always adored you. Especially because you're Latin!


26. Have you ever done drugs? Yeah...I used to lick toads and get high on the toxin that they supposedly secreted as a protection mechanism. It was a total trip.

In Case You Needed a Good Laugh...

From what I gather with my limited Japanese language knowledge, you have to get the tongue twister right or else you pay the consequence. The guy in the red is hilarious!

Forget Waterboarding. The CIA Should Try A Headband

I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything, but it has to be said that I looked adorable today. I wore black square neck top with a girly-but-not-gradeschool bow on the side, red shoes, and a white plastic retro headband. Why is it that we women, over time, seem to forget the pain that a certain fashion item can inflict? I have an awesome pair of plum colored peep-toe heels that make me wince with every step. Yet, every three months or so, I think that I must've exaggerated the pain that I felt the last time I wore them and wear them once again. And my feet pay for it. That pain is real and I'm reminded of the intensity of it everytime the glorious Italian masterpiece touches the ground. Same story with this headband. My bangs were not working for me this morning. They were sticking straight up because of some cursed cowlicks that I wage war against everytime I do my hair. Today I waved the white flag in defeat and put on the headband. It couldn't be that bad, I told myself. Eight year old girls all over the world wear them on a daily basis. Are they tougher than me? No sir! I can do this! All in the name of fashion! By 10:00 am, I was cursing that stupid accessory. The only thing on my mind was how much pain that rediculous piece of plastic was inflicting on my poor cranium. Sometimes the pulsing pain kept beat with the song that was playing on the radio. Why didn't I take off the headband you ask? You can't recover gracefully after 2 hours of headband wearing when you have bangs as short as mine. It was pinching my brains out. It was pushing all intelligent thought out of my skull. It was pure torture! And I'll never wear one again! Well, at least not for another couple of months.

Adventure Cooking Tuesdays

I've implemented a new feature in my life. It's called Adventure Cooking Tuesday. Why Tuesday you ask? Because if all the animals along the equator were capable of flattery, then Halloween and Thanksgiving would fall on the same day.* Would you agree? It now is going to be the day where I pick something that I never have before made and cross my fingers that it is delicious because that's what I'm going to be eating for the next three days or so. That's the life of a single, roommate-less cook. Endless leftovers!
Todays adventure was Pasta with Chicken, Sundried Tomatoes, Gorgonzola and Pine Nuts, taken from the October 2007 Bon Appetite magazine. Yeah, it was good. And yeah, no matter how good it may be, by the third day it tastes a bit less delicious than I remember on the first day. May be willing to have Adventure Cooking Tuesday guests to help eat the adventurous dish in exchange for...hmmm...maybe a giant cupcake?
This is an easy recipe. And yes Natalie, even you can do it.

Ingredients
1/ 2cup chopped drained oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes (2 tablespoons oil reserved)
2 skinless boneless chicken breast halves (about 9 ounces total)
1 pound medium shell pasta
4 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 cup chopped fresh basil
1/2 cup canned low-salt chicken broth
1/2 cup crumbled Gorgonzola cheese (about 2 ounces)
1/4 cup chopped prosciutto
1/4 cup pine nuts, toasted

Preparation
Heat 1 tablespoon oil reserved from tomatoes in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Add chicken to skillet and sauté until cooked through, about 3 minutes per side. Transfer chicken to plate and cool; do not clean skillet. Cut chicken into 1/2-inch pieces.
Cook pasta in large pot of boiling salted water until just tender but still firm to bite. Drain pasta; transfer to large bowl.
Meanwhile, heat remaining 1 tablespoon tomato oil in same skillet over medium-high heat. Add garlic; sauté until tender, about 1 minute. Add sun-dried tomatoes, chicken, basil, broth, cheese and prosciutto to skillet and bring to boil.
Add sauce to pasta and toss to coat. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Top with pine nuts and serve.

Cook's note: Cooking seems to be a touch more delightful when wearing a sassy apron. Check out my favorites here. Expensive? Sure! But what the hell.

And while I'm adding life features, I think I'm going to do a "swear word in every blog entry" addition. Whaddya think? Oh yeah? Damn you.

* I owe you a high-five and maybe a bag of Cadbury Mini-Eggs next Easter when they are back in the stores if you got that reference.

Hey Kyle,

Welcome to my blog! It might not be as entertaining as my attempts at grappling with you, but hey, I can try.
Here's the website about the submission only grappling tournament. I think I'm going to go and check out what my competition is and then decide. I haven't heard of anyone else entering from Absolute. Tragic. That Sub-4-Santa one was awesome. Let me know if you enter. See you tomorrow!
Grappling Tournament

Just Checking In

Do you guys like my semi-redone blog page? I was looking for a picture of a scientist or a microscope or a lab, but came across King Leonidas instead. I had to add it. Have you ever imagined yourself being a ripped warrior, trained since infancy for battle, courageous, strong, feared and respected by all? Me neither. Just asking.

I can't stand being indoors on days like today. My lab has a huge window overlooking all the activities outside. There's a fence that borders the west side of the parking lot and I see kids walking on top of the dirt mounds on the other side of the fence and I just want to run over there and play. Some construction is going on on the south side and there's a huge backhoe excavator that I long to operate. I'm this close (like a millimeter) to going over there and asking for a operating lesson. How could they say no to me?! I'm so damn adorable.

I've started eating my lunch outside again. It's a nice escape from the confines of the lab. We can't even crack a window in there because of particulates, contamination and organics. Sometimes it feels so stale in my workspace. I think the place is aching for a breath of fresh air. Back to the lunch thing. I enjoy going out to the picnic tables and reading a book. Sometimes my lunches are a bit long because I can't bring myself to get back inside. It's a real internal struggle. I won't give you the full dialogue of the struggle, but in the end the responsible part of me tells my irresponsible self to get up or get kicked in the chucks. Because my irresponsible counterpart is male, of course. Actually, I just wanted to include chuck kicking in my blog today. It never gets old. For me, at least.

Does punk music remind you of summer? It does for me. I even put some on at times and imagine that it's super warm outside and start actually believing it, and then go outside without a jacket and freeze my chucks off--if I had them. It's crazy how music can recall so many memories. In the summer of 2004 I lived with Sarah Vanderhoef up in Ogden. We spend a ton of time with Blake, Kevin, Crook, Juan and Joe. Hiking, tubing down the Weber river, swimming, BBQing, playing pool, trying to trap a hawk, camping, longboarding, playing Mike Tyson's Punchout and every other fun thing. We always rode in Blake's Subaru and I swear the only thing in his CD player the entire summer was Simple Plan: No Pads, No Helmets, Just Balls. That CD will always represent a super fun summer to me now. Just like Ridin' Dirty will always remind me of Lake Powell with Natalie. That and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. How could I forget waking up to that during that glorious week? I look handsome. I look smart. I am a walking work of art! Oh, OH! AND, Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy! I can't overlook that gem of a song. I'm drowning in nostalgia.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT get the lean ground beef that's on sale at Macey's on this very day. Blech. But I will allow you to get their cinnamon raisin bagels. Sublime. I'm salivating just thinking about them.

Oh Mother

My mom and I talk quite a bit about my dating life and she has become such an advocate about me finding a good man real soon. Sometimes I feel as if I'm in a Jane Austen novel and have that over-bearing mother whose single concern is marrying off her daughters. Which if we were in a Jane Austen novel, we wouldn't have to worry because there are plenty of male heirs to keep the family estate and take care of any unwed daughters. My case being the only daughter and only unwed child. Her worries in the grand scheme of things are quite minuscule. So she should just calm down. But I can see how my happiness directly affects her. Or unhappiness for that matter. I remember her excitement back when I was going to get married and how when I broke things off, it devastated her because she knew how heartbroken I was. So now she thinks it is up to her to make sure that I stay on my toes about this whole finding a husband thing. And she makes it clear that it's about finding a husband and not one of those immature boyfriends. She sent me an Easter card with some money in it for the purpose of going online and registering on a LDS dating service. She's the one paying for it because I told her that I wasn't going to throw money at something that I didn't think I needed. So if she wants to throw her money at it, that's fine with me. She appreciates the fact that I've been dating, but thinks that online dating would put me in the light of men who do share similar interests and have comparable social skills. Hah! How specific do I have to get on one of those sites? I mean, if there really is a man who loves good rock n' roll, fighting, hockey, baseball, video games, reading, dark comedies, traveling, Thai food, thrives in social gatherings, is secretly impressed with how loud his burps can be, can speak another language and doesn't like house pets, would I really be able to find him online? If so, sign me up.

Warning: May Contain Spoilers

This is starting out to be a really strange day. I woke up at the crack of ten o'clock when I usually can't sleep past 7. I'm usually winding up my workouts by now and I haven't even hit the gym yet. (It's noon now). I'm not hungry when the norm is when I wake up I'm starving! No really, stomach growling uncontrollably. Aches and pains in the abdominal region from 10 hours without food. But I didn't experience any discomfort this morning. Also, I'm typing this blog and listening to country music. Like, I actually was turning the station dial on the radio and stopped on a country station. What the...? This is creeping me out. I can't help but think that this may have something to do with watching Disturbia with Shanna and Katie last night. The conversation turned to good kissing scenes in movies (the ultimate winner was the kissing in Last of the Mohicans) and it was said that Shia Lebeouf really owned it in Disturbia. And since I've never seen it, Shanna decides to put give me a little taste of what I was missing. Let me preface by telling you that I HATE horror films. I cannot handle murder and psycho situations taking place in modern times. I get ultra scared. Which is funny because I love war movies and movies such as Troy and 300. That violence doesn't bother me at all. But when it comes to something that could potentially take place in my neighborhood and things that involve scary supernatural beings, I get the s--- scared out of me. I can't even watch the trailers in the movie theaters. My heart starts beating super fast and I freak out. Well, we start watching the movie and it's pretty uneventful and not very scary. And then it gets really scary, really fast. So then the good kissing scene comes on and right then, at the neighbors house, you hear a chainsaw and blood is sloshed all over the window. Whaaat...! Ok, that will ruin all good kissing for me. Who can seriously appreciate good kissing when the such a thing as that is so vivid on your TV screen? This look of distress came on my face and Katie and Shanna started giggling and apologizing for the fact that they forgot about that part. The rest of the movie watching experience went by with Shanna fast forwarding through the remainder of the show and explaining the fly-by images popping up on the screen. So I got the gist of chopped up bodies and decaying corpses. Disturbing? Yes. Am I thinking how anyone could possibly find this entertaining? Yes. Will those images haunt my dreams forever? Uhm...yes. So now I'm questioning all these strange things that are happening to me. There's some supernatural force inhabiting my home now. Ahhh! I'm totally freaking myself out now. Heart rate increasing.

It's Nice To Have a Day Like This

There are the days where everything feels just right. It all started out when I didn't fall asleep in Sunday school. I actually wanted to be there and was paying attention. You know it's going to be a good day when that happens. And then in sacrement meeting, one of my favorite couples in the ward was asked to speak. Debbie did a wonderful job of enlightening us with thoughts of how to live the gospel daily. Nikoli, her husband, followed with some real comedic genius from the pulpit. I'm going to go so far as to day that I'm pretty positive he didn't prepare a talk and was just winging it. And pulled it off. I'm going to give him a virtual pat on the back for that. I came home and opened my fridge and looked into some very empty shelves. I managed to whip up some tasty scrambled eggs. I used 6 eggs and about 2 ounces of cream cheese. Threw in some basil and chives. Topped it off with a dash of salt and a pinch of freshly ground pepper. Extremely satifying. Give it a whirl. I think you might like it. I cooked six eggs because I wanted to have some ready for breakfast the next day. But I practically ate the whole thing. I'm a champ. I'm like Rocky. I then read a little in a book called Hagakure. It's about principles applied in the Samurai Way. Very cool. I'll post some exerpts at a later date. It totally speaks to my soul. And because it's Sunday, I had to take my Sunday nap. I woke in time for the youth fireside at the former bishop's home. We talked about the youth theme for the new year: Be steadfast and immovable in Christ. Fantastic discussion. The youth constantly amaze me. My eyes sometimes well up with little tears when I think of them. And then it gets worse as a think about President Hinckley and how he was such a champion of the youth. It's happening now. Stop. Ok, it's cool now. I'm under control. We then set personal goals and I was really excited about doing it. I've always been a huge goal setter and really set out to achieve them, but this felt much different than every other time. I don't think that I can explain the feeling adequately. It just felt easy and real. As if those goals were ones that someone else wanted me to attain and I would get more help so that they would seem easier to accomplish than they have it the past. That's the best explanation that I could come up with. Understand? No? Oh well then. When I was driving home, NPR was on my radio. At 7 pm on Sunday nights they have a half hour of short story readings. It's wicked cool. And because it's Valentine's Day coming up, they read romantic short stories. It was so sweet. I just drove around the canyon soaking up the romance. Delightful. When did I become a romantic you ask? I have no idea. This is new to me. I came home and made some Cranberry Bran Muffins--recipe available upon request. While I was baking I was listening to Sheri Dew's talk, God Wants a Powerful People. Yeah, that spoke to my soul also. I went to bed happy and warm, thinking good thoughts and thankful for a good day.

The Genius of Billy Collins

Lately I've been enjoying a good daily dose of poetry. Most recently I've been indulging in Walt Whitman and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I also read some great modern poetry. Billy Collins has quickly become one of my all time favorites. Going to a live reading featuring this man will now be added to my list of things I must do in my lifetime. Check out this poem:

Forgetfulness

The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
which suddenly becomes one you have never read,
never even heard of,

as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there are no phones.

Long ago you kissed the names of the nine Muses goodbye
and watched the quadratic equation pack its bag,
and even now as you memorize the order of the planets,

something else is slipping away, a state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of Paraguay.

Whatever it is you are struggling to remember,
it is not poised on the tip of your tongue,
not even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen.

It has floated away down a dark mythological river
whose name begins with an L as far as you can recall,
well on your own way to oblivion where you will join those
who have even forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle.

No wonder you rise in the middle of the night
to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted out
of a love poem that you used to know by heart.

Appreciating A Good Hockey Fight

I went to a Grizzlies hockey game Saturday night. There is nothing like sharp blades scraping the ice and muscular, sweaty bodies hurling into each other at top speeds. I can't get enough of it. Quite a few fights broke out during the game. There were three major multiple person fights with helmets being ripped off and blood spilling. And there were about 10 less-significant, forceful shoving fights, with many a dirty word being said. I didn't actually get to hear the profanity, but the Jumbotron overhead made for some good lip-reading. The Jumbotron also displayed some of my booty shaking skills while we were doing the Hokey Pokey. I really shook it all around, if ya know what I mean. 'Cause that's what it's all about! Later, while I was walking out of the arena, someone from work saw me and told me that they liked my little dance. That's not embarrassing at all.
Remember those ESPN commercials where someone would innocently be standing on the street gazing into a store window and suddenly a hockey player in full gear would come up and bodycheck them into the glass? Yeah, that was cool.
Sometimes I wish that bodychecking or throwing off the gloves were more socially acceptable. I mean, we could have a rule that someone would deserve a bodycheck for when they do something really dumb, such as taking up two parking spots in the over-crowded work parking lot for their huge diesel truck that they don't use to actually haul anything. Or when someone is in the left turn lane and before actually making the turn they swing really far to the right and into your lane, forcing you into the lane next to you, which makes the others to your right angry and thinking that you're the stupid driver. Or for snowplowers that create an incredibly high snowbank behind your car that you have to spend 20 minutes clawing at with your flimsy driving gloves because there is no shovel at hand. Or for those people that pick the locker directly next to yours in the gym when the entire locker room is empty, making it extremely awkward as you try to change into your sports bra. We could start with those circumstances and work our way out from there.

I Should've Been More Careful

You know those emails that have been forwarded 300 times and promise to curse you and your children if you don't send them to 8 of your closest friends within the next 10 minutes? Well, I think I've deleted one too many of those. A hex is upon me. I feel it. One person shouldn't have to endure such a long string of bad days like I have.

I'll Take A Punch to the Head, Please.

So everyone has been freaking out about my black eye. It doesn't hurt one bit. I can't even tell you exactly how it happened, except that I got it sometime last Friday night at Absolute. What people don't realize is that I get injured more from everyday stuff than I do training in martial arts. For instance, I was cooking dinner on Saturday night and sliced the top of my thumb off whilst cutting an onion. I cut right through the fingernail. I was trying to stop the bleeding for almost an hour. I would rather take a shot to the face than go through that pain again.
Another example is moving the furniture around in my bedroom. I just have a cheap metal bed frame and when shifted gently, it will fall apart. And it did. Right on my foot. Mercy.
Also, I went ice skating tonight with the youth in my ward for our Wednesday night activity. I'm a pretty confident ice skater. But you put me in rental skates on a rink with 200 other kids all between the ages of 12 and 17 and I really, really suck. There were so many kids on the ice not paying attention to where they were going. They were grabbing on to me whenever they lost their balance, pulling me right down with them. Some punk kid plowed into the back of me at a fairly high speed which caused a serious faceplant. My butt and knees are throbbing.
After all that, a bony elbow to the head doesn't sound too bad.

My Dad is Cooler Than Your Dad!

My dad never gives Christmas presents to us kids. He lets mom do all the thoughtful stuff like that. This year was different. He might be softening in his latter years. I received this Christmas card:
You can't top that advice. This is the best Christmas card I've ever received. And i love how he writes in all capitol letters. It's always been like that. For the record, I can't remember one time in my life when he has actually called me Vanessa. It's always been Vaness. He will not say the A at the end of my name. The only time has been when he has given me a blessing or something where a full name is required. It's amazingly endearing to me now.
For my present, he got an old cardboard box and put a week supply of Snap-On Tools socks and a Snap-On Tools beach towel in there. No wrapping paper over the box. I love those socks! I think I blogged about those socks once before. I mean these socks are definitely noteworthy. What a thoughtful man. Who would've thought?!