A Sign Of My Age

I now need to wear a knee brace when I go out dancing.

At least I can still shake my tail feather, right? Right!

I Have A Super Power

The most amazing thing happened to me today. This is going to blow your mind! I was driving to work this morning and happened to be behind a car with a Minnesota license plate. I saw that the state motto was The Land of 10,000 Lakes. I made a mental note to log that bit of information away because I was sure that I was going to see it in a crossword puzzle at some point in my life. Well, I usually pull out a crossword at lunch and try to complete it in my half hour break. I was working diligently on the one that you see below and when I reached 22 across, I couldn't believe it. Whoa. I know! I must be magical. I'm convinced of it.

The Q And The A

Natalie said...
and? And?? AND??? what exactly transpired between your lovely hotness and this gentleman with a knack for grocery shopping and lady spotting? A prolonged gaze? A smile? A wink? Actual speaking? Digits? Come now. He doesn't read this blog. But if he does, then he's a creep. And you don't date creeps.
May 13, 2009 10:16 PM


VTS says...
So......................I pull up at Harmon's and this huge, shiny black truck swoops in and snakes the spot that I was going to park in. I'm a tiny bit miffed and just figure that this guy is a big tool and park in another spot. I glanced at his truck as I drive by and see a logo on the back that makes me think that he's a MMA fighter. He lingers in his truck for a little bit and gets out right when I walked by. He said hi to me and then apologized for taking the spot when it was clear that I intended to park there. He said that he just wasn't paying attention. I told him that it was ok and that he's lucky that I wasn't an old lady or a cripple, then he'd really be sorry. He thought that was funny and we joked for a second. I then asked him about the window sticker on his truck. Turns out that it's not associated with fighting at all, and he explained what it meant. And that's about the point where I felt stupid. Not that the conversation was awkward or anything, it's just that I realized that this guy was awesome and charming and handsome and I wanted him to ask me out and I didn't think that he would because I was just coming from a couple hours of training and was pretty sure that a bearded lady would have looked more appealing than I did at that time. And he didn't. So I went into the store and did my shopping and was walking out when I saw that he was coming out of the other exit. He sees me and waves and does this cute hurried jaunt over to where I was. He walks me to my car and compliments me on the "healthiness" of the items that he saw I purchased. He then asks for my number and tells me that he thinks I'm really cool and wants to get to know me better. I gave him my number and told him that I thought the same thing. And he did call. And we went out last weekend. YAY!


The great thing about this situation is that it was so easy. I didn't have to make all the efforts. He just went for it. And I liked it!

The date was good but we really didn't have alot in common. It seemed like we ran out of things to talk about toward the end, which is weird because we all know that I'm a World Champion talker. I can talk to just about anyone. Well, it's too early to tell.


Ok, so I just re-read what I wrote up there and it is majorly LAME! BORING! YAWN INDUCING! And the last thing that I want to do is become one of those bloggers. I've even considered not posting it, but then I figure that I'd have to answer the questions at some point. So, enjoy!

Geeking It Up

If you thought this was hysterical, then let's be friends forever.

While we're in Geektown, does anyone want to go see Star Trek with me? Or Wolverine? Anyone? Anyone? Damn.

All Too Familiar

Having only brothers, I swear I've been in this exact situation multiple times before. We always slapped each other around a bit. The great thing is that we all became best friends. I'd rather hang out with my brothers and their wives more than anyone else.

Back In The Saddle Again!

I might have just found refuge from the dating desert. The oasis appeared tonight in the form of a handsome man in the parking lot of Harmon's grocery. I was in sweatpants and had just come from the gym. I'm sure that it can only go uphill from here.

It's exciting, right!?!

Just wait until he finds out that I can sing House of Pain's, Insane In The Brain like a pro. He'll be putty in my hands.

More Randomness? Yes, Please.

• Last night, in my dreams, I was repeatedly stabbed in the back as well as had a steel rod rammed through me. When I woke up I realized that a jumbo feather from my down comforter was lodged in my T-shirt, right in the middle of my back.
• Thursday night, on the way home from the gym, I was stopped at light as I was approaching State street. I looked to my left and there was a naked man running down the street about a half a block away. As hilarious as that is, it isn't the interesting part of the story. Wait for it. A couple of cop cars were headed that direction and so those of us at the intersection weren't able to move ahead even though the light was green. Across the intersection, in the left turn lane, there was a guy in a truck behind the lead car (who was waiting for the cops to pass through) who was honking his horn and yelling out the window for the car in front of him to move. The guy in the lead car gets out of his vehicle and is telling the guy in the truck to get out and fight him. Let's not disregard the exorbitant amount of expletives used in this exchange. The cops were through the intersection by this time and the light had turned green again. Luckily there was no one behind me and I just sat through the green light again watching this. Nothing beats this sort of entertainment. The guy has no luck in getting the other guy to get out of his truck, so he proceeds to CLIMB ON THE HOOD AND PUNCH AT THE WINDSHIELD! The guy in the truck is screaming his head off at the other guy, so loud that I could hear it from across the road. Cars were approaching behind me at this point and felt it necessary to pull forward so I didn't get to see whether or not the one guy actually broke through the windshield. In any case, it was awesome!
• Do you guys read Seriously, So Blessed? So you know how she shamelessly talks about her amazingly awesome life? So shamelessly that you sometimes throw up in your mouth a little bit? Well, I feel like word vomit is bubbling up about how cool my super fantastic life is. I feel that way because I finally found out how to be happy. No circumstance in my life has drastically changed to make me happy. I'm thinking that the secret to my success in this is that I finally took a good long look at my faults and listened to what others had to say about my weaknesses. When I was really honest with myself I realized that I actually am stubborn, argumentative, unnecessarily emotional, constantly seeking approval, and really insecure. And not to say that I’m not any of those things anymore, I’m just saying that I’ve been vigilant about working on them. Working on changing these things while accepting that I'm not a terrible and unlovable person for displaying these qualities and knowing that I will overcome them, has made me a more confident and happy person. Cool, huh?
• I have an exercise ball that I use to practice core stability for jujitsu. I kneel on it and balance for a while. Then I transition to cross-body, to knee on belly, to mount...you get the idea. So what happens when I get mildly proficient at something is that I suddenly think that I'm a pro and go for it like it's the World Championships. It's embarrassing. I was feeling really comfortable and working all sorts of positions when the ball slips massively out from under me and throws me into my bookcase. It hurt so badly. I don't have words for the pain. I now have all these scratches and rug burns on my jawline, chin and neck.
• It's getting harder and harder to go to church by myself. Anyone have any advice on that?
• I'm taking a new multivitamin that is turning my pee the most fierce shade of yellow I have ever seen. I'm drinking something like 6 liters of water a day and even that won't dilute the color. It's craziness I tell you. The cleaner that is used to clean the toilets at work is orange and I secretly enjoy when I'm the first one to use the restroom after the janitors are done. The combination of the violent yellow and the orange makes the prettiest pink color ever! And I would want to paint a young girls room that color and call it multivitamin-cleaner-pee-pink. TMI? I apologize. I won't do it again. I take it back...I can't promise that at all.
• I have forgotten how to date. It's true! A couple of friends have recently commented that it seemed like I dated alot when they first met me and now they hardly hear of any exploits. I think that my last date was last summer. Tragic! The funny thing is that last Fall I decided that I didn't want to date anymore because I wanted to focus on making some changes. So I didn't put myself out there at all. Now that I feel that I've improved upon myself and am ready to get back in the dating scene, I just don't know how to do it. Seriously! This is no joking matter! I've lost my touch. And it also just goes to show that if you want to date, you will. And if you don't want to date, you won't. I wonder if I got too comfortable with the idea of being single. It's really not a bad place to be. But I do know that I have too much love to give and too much of a desire to nurture and use my talents to be single forever.
• I think there was something else that I want to say, but I can't for the life of me think of what it is. Hmmmm. Maybe later.

Uncharacteristically of me, I thought this was cute.

Mark Your Calendars

Jeremy Horn's Elite Fight Night is coming up on 01 May 2009 at the Davis Conference Center. Two killers, John Sharp and Steve Sharp are fighting in this show. You know when the Sharp's get in the cage you're going to witness something incredible. Check out the fight card here. Please come out and support the local shows. At the last Fight Night I had girls night out with a couple of friends, while the guys went to a movie. Hah!

There's A New Sheriff In Town

Yes, that's right. Let's just leave the circumstances behind this picture out of it. Oh, and beware the next time that you stick a cheap fake moustache to your face. You just might get a tiny bit of a rash where the moustache once laid.

NinPeepJitsu

Did you guys happen to see the Washington Post Peep Diorama Contest? It's wicked cool - go check it out. Here are a couple of my faves:

The contest inspired me and I decided to create my own Peep diorama. I'm calling it NinPeepJitsu, a.k.a. The Diorama of Awesomeness.

Oh yes, I have better things to do than hand paint Peeps to look like ninjas, I just didn't do them. And yes, I did google "ninja weaponry" to get the designs for the sai and throwing stars. And FYI, the one Peep is supposed to appear to be zip-lining from his secret ninja spot for a surprise attack. Hello!

Packing

Today I attended a 4 hour class on gun safety and gun laws that is required to obtain a concealed weapons permit. I went with 5 other guys that I work with. One of them showed up with this shirt:
But from what I observed today, happiness is correcting the state licenced teacher on gun terminology and ammunition types. I've never seen my friends so pleased with themselves. They were like little school boys showing me their pistols and revolvers and such. "Hey Vaness, wanna check out my Ruger SR9 9mm pistol?" or "Hey Vaness, I have my AR 15 in the trunk. Wanna go to the range and shoot it?" It was such a great day.

Have You Seen This Sock?

Because I'm pretty sure that it grew legs and ran away. I can't find it anywhere!

Happy Birthday, Old Man

Who expects a birthday lunch on April Fools Day at a welding shop?

Happy Birthday, Camrann! I can't get enough of your awesomeness. I hope that this year brings you more fun and happiness than you expect to see in a lifetime.
The pic below is of BenG lighting the best damn double layer carrot cake the world has ever seen. No lie. The recipe is in the Gourmet cookbook, and contains coconut and crushed pineapple. Go check it out. You won't be dissapointed. I'm salivating just thinking about it.
And look at what was the backdrop for luncheon...
The pirate flag that we spent an hour at the Nicklecade trying to get last year!

Submission Challenge

Last Saturday I participated in a submission only grappling tournament down in Orem. And I totally got first place in the women's middleweight division! I'm embarrassed at how excited I was that I won. I was exceptionally nervous prior to the tournament and now I can't wait until the next one. The best part was having the support and encouragement of almost my entire team. So many of them were there participating and watching. I don't have very many pics. We were all busy running to each others matches. The camera was unfortunately forgotten.

Thanks to Miyo for the following couple of pictures.

Getting the takedown with a head throw.

Attempting the triangle choke. Transitioned from there into an armbar for the tap.
My first place trophy: A sweet mini samurai sword. Awards
With my AWESOME coach, Rob. I wouldn't be any good without him! Please excuse my haggardness.
I love this pic of Steve Sharp and Noah. Somehow they ended up in the same weight class. WTF? I know! Noah was making Steve look Fun Sized. Back: Denver, Kevin, Me, Coach Rob, Camrann, Ricky, Curtis, Matt and Riley

Front: Steve, Robert, Ben and Josh.

Most of the team placed, if not first. In the Intermediate Lightweight division our guys received first (Denver), second (Josh), and third (Riley). It doesn't get any better than Team Absolute!

Coach with the prodigy, Ben Garner.
The whole experience was really great. I know that I could have done better though. I was holding submissions that weren't working too long and I was really timid on the takedowns. And I swear that I forgot half of what I know. But now I know what I need to work on and what to expect for the next tournament. And yes, you guys can come. June 6th. Yeah!

Can't Get Enough Sharp

Congratulations to John Sharp for his awesome first round KO against Cody Udy last Friday at Jeremy Horn's Elite Fight Night. It was wicked! This was his long awaited return to the cage and it was an awesome win. I can't hardly wait for John's next fight. What a warrior. Dave Komarov was also on the fight card and won by submission: rear naked choke. What sucked was that I was down in Orem weighing in for the grappling tournament which was taking place the next day, and I missed Dave's fight. I saw the submission from the lobby of the Davis Conference Center as I was going through security. I heard it was a good fight though. I'm so proud of Team Absolute!
Go and check out awesome photos of John's fight at Miyo's blog. Set 1 Set 2. One of my favorite photos of all time is the second one in set 2 where Rob, Cam and The Wrecker are all congratulating John. What a joyful moment. My little heart absolutely loves that image. Great work, Miyo!

Happy St. Patty's Day To Ye

I decided that tomorrow I'm going to go Ye Olde Village Baker for lunch and having a corned beef and cabbage sandwich. Because that's what you do on St. Patrick's Day, eh. Oh, and then I'm going to listen to a truckload of Dropkick Murphy's and Flogging Molly. Yeah, and then lift up a stein and sing loudly and off key. How about ye?

Going International

Is my awesome cousin, Bjorn reading this? If so, how in the world did you find this? I'm hoping that it's you and not some German creeper with the same name. I'd love to get back in touch with you!

Fight Night Recap

On February 20th, the Throwdown ETC in Orem put on another fight night. Both Steve Sharp and Camrann Pacheco were fighting again. They were AWESOME! I'm so proud of my guys!

Camrann was up against Olly Bradstreet and won by split decision. It was a really great fight to watch if you like jujitsu. Cam had Olly in his guard almost the whole time and was working submissions from there. Cam had a wicked triangle on Olly at the end of the second round but Olly was saved by the bell. Seriously, this guy was purple and gurgling. Cam's jits is tight! Man, I love Cam.

Steve was fighting Dayne Aristizabal, a wicked jujitsu fighter. I've seen him fight at the last couple of Throwdown events and submission grappling tournaments and have been really impressed with him. When I heard that he was taking on Steve, I was really excited for that fight to happen. This guy has got to be fearless for him to have had only two fights prior and then taking a fight with seasoned Steve freaking Razor Sharp. Hello! I admire him for that. Steve ended up getting a knockout at the end of the first round. They stood up the whole round. It was awesome. Great exchanges.

Anyway, you can read more about it here at Absolute MMA's blogspot. Also check out Miyo's incredible photos: Cam's fight Steve's fight

Jeremy Horn's Elite Fight Night is happening on March 27th, 7:30pm @ The Davis Conference Center in Layton. Absolute MMA has a couple fighters in it. John Sharp (Steve's bro) is fighting Cody Udy and Dave Komarov is up against Eric Tilletson. I'm anxious to see John's fight. This guy is so great and just stepped in last week to fill in for one of our other fighters. He's been training hard and I just know that he's going to come out of this with a win. Let me know if you want to come. If I get tickets from the gym our fighters get more money. So support Absolute fighters!

Grumpy Pants

I had a recent house guest. She thought that my little eye mask was hilarious and decided to take some flattering pictures with my camera while I was sleeping.

I will snap you like a chicken! Waking up is hard for me.

Also, it may appear that I'm naked, but I'm not. I'm an active sleeper and don't think twice when I wake up with one of my arms through the head hole on my T-shirt and my top sheet wrapped 4 times around my leg. Or when my mattress is hanging three feet off of my box spring. Or when I wake up on the floor with one leg still on the bed. Oh yes, it happens.

My excuse for the lack of blogging is not that Facebook took me away (even though I do enjoy Facebook quite a bit), but the fact that I haven't had internet at my house for about a month now. I was "borrowing" the internet from my neighbors at my duplex and then they moved. I've just been too lazy/busy to get my own internet access after that. But I'm hooking it up this week.