I've had so many realizations since I've left my old section. I miss being horribly busy. I like working hard. I like having alot to do. Now I'm a clock watcher. I miss working for Ben. He really inspired me to work. He had high expectations of me. Even though I was frustrated with him at times, he really was an exceptional boss. He worked hard which set a good example for me. I guess that I didn't always feel appreciated, but now I realize that I just didn't recognize the ways the ways that he was showing his appreciation. And I hate that we agreed that I shouldn't get back on the 1671 test to somewhat preserve our friendship, and it doesn't even seem like we're friends anymore. I know that he's unbelievable busy, but I hate never seeing him. I'll run into him in the hall or in the parking lot, and we'll chit-chat, but that's all. I left a voicemail on his office phone once inviting him out to lunch, but he never called back. I hope I didn't ruin our friendship with my bad attitude. It would really hurt if he didn't want to be my friend. I look up to him and respect him. He's alot of what I want to be and am not. I think that I just need to wait for things to hopefully mellow out and then see how he wants things to be.
I miss my old section. Everyone was friends. Everyone looked for ways to help each other out. We didn't talk behind each others backs. Not to say that this new section isn't helpful and friendly, but it just is a different feeling. Not as comfortable. I really am trying to have a good attitude and give it some time. It's quite an adjustment going from something that you were highly proficient in, to training in something that seems very menial. I am looking for other jobs though. I'm not even sure that I want to work in the science industry anymore. Which frustrates me, because for the longest time I just wanted to be a scientist. I really hope to find a good fit for me somewhere. It would be nice if it were in the company, but if not, I'm prepared to take charge and find something that does fit. I've been looking at alot of jobs back home in MA, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to leave Utah. I've kind of made it my home. And they don't have Crown Burger in MA.