26 April 2009

More Randomness? Yes, Please.

  • Last night, in my dreams, I was repeatedly stabbed in the back as well as had a steel rod rammed through me. When I woke up I realized that a jumbo feather from my down comforter was lodged in my T-shirt, right in the middle of my back.
  • Thursday night, on the way home from the gym, I was stopped at light as I was approaching State street. I looked to my left and there was a naked man running down the street about a half a block away. As hilarious as that is, it isn't the interesting part of the story. Wait for it. A couple of cop cars were headed that direction and so those of us at the intersection weren't able to move ahead even though the light was green. Across the intersection, in the left turn lane, there was a guy in a truck behind the lead car (who was waiting for the cops to pass through) who was honking his horn and yelling out the window for the car in front of him to move. The guy in the lead car gets out of his vehicle and is telling the guy in the truck to get out and fight him. Let's not disregard the exorbitant amount of expletives used in this exchange. The cops were through the intersection by this time and the light had turned green again. Luckily there was no one behind me and I just sat through the green light again watching this. Nothing beats this sort of entertainment. The guy has no luck in getting the other guy to get out of his truck, so he proceeds to CLIMB ON THE HOOD AND PUNCH AT THE WINDSHIELD! The guy in the truck is screaming his head off at the other guy, so loud that I could hear it from across the road. Cars were approaching behind me at this point and felt it necessary to pull forward so I didn't get to see whether or not the one guy actually broke through the windshield. In any case, it was awesome!
  • Do you guys read Seriously, So Blessed? So you know how she shamelessly talks about her amazingly awesome life? So shamelessly that you sometimes throw up in your mouth a little bit? Well, I feel like word vomit is bubbling up about how cool my super fantastic life is. I feel that way because I finally found out how to be happy. No circumstance in my life has drastically changed to make me happy. I'm thinking that the secret to my success in this is that I finally took a good long look at my faults and listened to what others had to say about my weaknesses. When I was really honest with myself I realized that I actually am stubborn, argumentative, unnecessarily emotional, constantly seeking approval, and really insecure. And not to say that I’m not any of those things anymore, I’m just saying that I’ve been vigilant about working on them. Working on changing these things while accepting that I'm not a terrible and unlovable person for displaying these qualities and knowing that I will overcome them, has made me a more confident and happy person. Cool, huh?
  • I have an exercise ball that I use to practice core stability for jujitsu. I kneel on it and balance for a while. Then I transition to cross-body, to knee on belly, to mount...you get the idea. So what happens when I get mildly proficient at something is that I suddenly think that I'm a pro and go for it like it's the World Championships. It's embarrassing. I was feeling really comfortable and working all sorts of positions when the ball slips massively out from under me and throws me into my bookcase. It hurt so badly. I don't have words for the pain. I now have all these scratches and rug burns on my jawline, chin and neck.
  • It's getting harder and harder to go to church by myself. Anyone have any advice on that?
  • I'm taking a new multivitamin that is turning my pee the most fierce shade of yellow I have ever seen. I'm drinking something like 6 liters of water a day and even that won't dilute the color. It's craziness I tell you. The cleaner that is used to clean the toilets at work is orange and I secretly enjoy when I'm the first one to use the restroom after the janitors are done. The combination of the violent yellow and the orange makes the prettiest pink color ever! And I would want to paint a young girls room that color and call it multivitamin-cleaner-pee-pink. TMI? I apologize. I won't do it again. I take it back...I can't promise that at all.
  • I have forgotten how to date. It's true! A couple of friends have recently commented that it seemed like I dated alot when they first met me and now they hardly hear of any exploits. I think that my last date was last summer. Tragic! The funny thing is that last Fall I decided that I didn't want to date anymore because I wanted to focus on making some changes. So I didn't put myself out there at all. Now that I feel that I've improved upon myself and am ready to get back in the dating scene, I just don't know how to do it. Seriously! This is no joking matter! I've lost my touch. And it also just goes to show that if you want to date, you will. And if you don't want to date, you won't. I wonder if I got too comfortable with the idea of being single. It's really not a bad place to be. But I do know that I have too much love to give and too much of a desire to nurture and use my talents to be single forever.
  • I think there was something else that I want to say, but I can't for the life of me think of what it is. Hmmmm. Maybe later.

23 April 2009

Uncharacteristically of me, I thought this was cute.

19 April 2009

Mark Your Calendars

Jeremy Horn's Elite Fight Night is coming up on 01 May 2009 at the Davis Conference Center. Two killers, John Sharp and Steve Sharp are fighting in this show. You know when the Sharp's get in the cage you're going to witness something incredible. Check out the fight card here. Please come out and support the local shows. At the last Fight Night I had girls night out with a couple of friends, while the guys went to a movie. Hah!

18 April 2009

There's A New Sheriff In Town

Yes, that's right. Let's just leave the circumstances behind this picture out of it. Oh, and beware the next time that you stick a cheap fake moustache to your face. You just might get a tiny bit of a rash where the moustache once laid.

11 April 2009


Did you guys happen to see the Washington Post Peep Diorama Contest? It's wicked cool - go check it out. Here are a couple of my faves:

The contest inspired me and I decided to create my own Peep diorama. I'm calling it NinPeepJitsu, a.k.a. The Diorama of Awesomeness.
Oh yes, I have better things to do than hand paint Peeps to look like ninjas, I just didn't do them. And yes, I did google "ninja weaponry" to get the designs for the sai and throwing stars. And FYI, the one Peep is supposed to appear to be zip-lining from his secret ninja spot for a surprise attack. Hello!


Today I attended a 4 hour class on gun safety and gun laws that is required to obtain a concealed weapons permit. I went with 5 other guys that I work with. One of them showed up with this shirt:
But from what I observed today, happiness is correcting the state licenced teacher on gun terminology and ammunition types. I've never seen my friends so pleased with themselves. They were like little school boys showing me their pistols and revolvers and such. "Hey Vaness, wanna check out my Ruger SR9 9mm pistol?" or "Hey Vaness, I have my AR 15 in the trunk. Wanna go to the range and shoot it?" It was such a great day.

05 April 2009

Have You Seen This Sock?

Because I'm pretty sure that it grew legs and ran away. I can't find it anywhere!

01 April 2009

Happy Birthday, Old Man

Who expects a birthday lunch on April Fools Day at a welding shop?
Happy Birthday, Camrann! I can't get enough of your awesomeness. I hope that this year brings you more fun and happiness than you expect to see in a lifetime.
The pic below is of BenG lighting the best damn double layer carrot cake the world has ever seen. No lie. The recipe is in the Gourmet cookbook, and contains coconut and crushed pineapple. Go check it out. You won't be dissapointed. I'm salivating just thinking about it.
And look at what was the backdrop for luncheon...
The pirate flag that we spent an hour at the Nicklecade trying to get last year!

Submission Challenge

Last Saturday I participated in a submission only grappling tournament down in Orem. And I totally got first place in the women's middleweight division! I'm embarrassed at how excited I was that I won. I was exceptionally nervous prior to the tournament and now I can't wait until the next one. The best part was having the support and encouragement of almost my entire team. So many of them were there participating and watching. I don't have very many pics. We were all busy running to each others matches. The camera was unfortunately forgotten.
Thanks to Miyo for the following couple of pictures.

Getting the takedown with a head throw.

Attempting the triangle choke. Transitioned from there into an armbar for the tap.
My first place trophy: A sweet mini samurai sword. Awards
With my AWESOME coach, Rob. I wouldn't be any good without him! Please excuse my haggardness.
I love this pic of Steve Sharp and Noah. Somehow they ended up in the same weight class. WTF? I know! Noah was making Steve look Fun Sized. Back: Denver, Kevin, Me, Coach Rob, Camrann, Ricky, Curtis, Matt and Riley
Front: Steve, Robert, Ben and Josh.

Most of the team placed, if not first. In the Intermediate Lightweight division our guys received first (Denver), second (Josh), and third (Riley). It doesn't get any better than Team Absolute!

Coach with the prodigy, Ben Garner.
The whole experience was really great. I know that I could have done better though. I was holding submissions that weren't working too long and I was really timid on the takedowns. And I swear that I forgot half of what I know. But now I know what I need to work on and what to expect for the next tournament. And yes, you guys can come. June 6th. Yeah!