The Tuft

Tragedy has hit my style! Due to my hair being platinum blonde and therefore very brittle, combined with participating in jujitsu, I now have major hair breakage which has resulted in tragic tufts.

My hair stylist is trying to convince me to try a super short hairstyle, but I'm afraid of looking too much like the Russian woman, Ludmilla Drago, in Rocky IV. Not that she isn't beautiful, because Brigitte Nielsen absolutely is, but that she's a badass and I'd rather be associated with darlingness and ultra-femininity. But at the same time, I'm constantly getting my hair ripped out when I'm grappling. I'm surprised that I have any hair left on my head at all. Camrann and Rob have said that they could construct a wig with how much hair of mine that they sweep up after I'm done rolling. Sick.

Yesterday was a ultra bad tuft day. The guys in the lab were laughing about it for a while. A photo was taken to cement the ridiculousness.

I went on another great date the other day (whoa!) and he loved the tuft! He thought that it was so incredibly endearing. Him saying that made me embrace my little broken hairs as part of my playful personality. I kind of like the tuft now.

Alternate Reality

Apparently I am living an alternate version of my life where nice things are continually happening. It was snowing all day here in SLC and when I walked out to my car after work, I found, to my delight, that my car was cleared off. This person went out of their way to do it too. I park in a remote area of the parking lot and on this particular day I parked extra close the the snowbank on the passenger side. His (I'm assuming it was a man) footprints were all over the top of the snowbank as he wiped the snow from not only the windows but the roof and the hood of the car. I couldn't stop smiling. And when I got home late this evening there was some mistletoe stuck to my door. Could I, maybe, possibly, perhaps, have a secret admirer?! And if I do, then I would have to say that he is doing all the right things. There is nothing I respond to better than this type of thoughtfulness. He could look like Quasimodo for all I care but if he does the little tender things, I am a little puddle of melted goo. And even it's not a secret admirer, I'm still loving this experience. Someone is letting me know that they care.

Online Dating Disaster!

No matter how many people urge you to try online dating, don't do it! It's where all the creeper men go to prey on lovely women who sign up so as to give an honest effort in finding someone outside their social circle at the intense encouragement of their mother. Argh! I was signed up for two months on a $16.99 special and it just might be a bigger waste of money than that time I spent the same amount on a DVD of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (absolutely painful to watch).

I signed up on a LDS dating site hoping to develop friendship/relationship with normal men that have a firm commitment to the gospel and the covenants that they've made. I'm pretty sure that those kind are already settled and married, or not online. I'm a relatively attractive, educated, extremely playful, and worthy woman and I got an overwhelming response from men 50+ years old, total nerds and creepers. I repeatedly told myself that I need to keep an open mind and explore all options. The first man that IM'd me was a skinny white dude who was wearing a wife beater and a gold chain in his profile picture. Even though I wanted to block him right away according to what he was wearing and that smug cocky smile on his face, I decided that I would give him a chance and see what he was all about. This was our conversation:

Stupid Creeper (SC): Your way hotttt! (He was an atrocious speller and I HATE when people use the wrong form of your and you're. This was already a deal breaker. And the multiple TTT's made me roll my eyes and let out an unamused sigh.)

Me: Thank you! I'm flattered. (I wasn't really because I'm positive that he opens up with that line to every woman with a somewhat attractive profile picture.)

SC: Do you workout?

Me: Yeah, very frequently. I'm addicted to Brazilian Jujitsu and train regularly.

SC: Kewl. (Please don't ask me why I didn't end the conversation right there, because I really don't have an answer for you.)

Me: What are your hobbies?

SC: Didn't you read my profile?

Me: No, you're the one that IM'd me.

SC: But I thought that you would have checked me out since I am the hottest guy on here. (Again, I have no idea why I didn't log off immediately.)

Me: You checked out your competition?

SC: Ya.

Me: That's weird.

SC: Just kidding! I don't really do that. (He most likely does.)

Me: Well, it was nice chatting with you (total lie) but I've got to go to bed now.

SC: What???!!!! We just got started. I didn't even ask the important question yet!

Me: Sorry but it's getting late.

SC: Well can I just be forward with you for a second?

Me: Alright, as long as its not creepy. (I didn't really have my hopes up for that request. I just knew that it was going to be creepy.)

SC: LOL! It's not.

Me: Okay, go for it. (Regrettable go-ahead)

SC: What does the booty look like?

Me: Are you asking if I'm fat?

SC: Are you?

Me: You shouldn't have prefaced that with "Can I be forward with you for a second," you should have prefaced it with "Can I be a jackass for a second." (I was going to log off right then but I was curious to see where this was headed.)

SC: LOL!

Me: That wasn't meant to be funny.

SC: I think you got the wrong idea about me.

Me: No, I think shallow ass hat is pretty accurate.

SC: So you are fat.

Me: Actually my body has been compared to Giselle Bundchen's. (Total lie - I definitely have some extra pounds on me - but I couldn't give him the satisfaction.)

SC: SWEET! I knew it! When can we meet? (Guys like this truly exist!!! I am witness!)

Me: That depends...what's your income potential over the next 5 years?

SC: I'm unemployed at the moment.

Me: Sucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I then logged off and blocked him. That was probably the worst IM that I had but others have come close! A man old enough to be my father emailed me and wrote, "Why would a beautiful woman hide 40% of her face?" I didn't know if he was trying to tell me a joke or commenting on my profile picture so I responded with, "What in the world are you talking about? Or, if this is a joke that you're telling, why would a woman do that?" He emailed me back with this, "Wondering why a beautiful woman Hides 40% of her Face ...with Hair ? And 30% of that is your Forehead. It just puzzles me is all since any man Greatly luvs a woman's Face over her Covering Hair. Yes, as a man of nearly 50 years..I have been exposed to 'Just A Few' Women in my days AND spoken with MORE than 'Just A Few' Men about their Female Tastes. And having that much Covering Hair takes away from Beauty." This was copied and pasted directly from the email. What a MORON! Covering hair? I can only assume that he means my bangs - which are totally darling! And does he think that nouns are supposed to be capitalized? Horrible grammar. Absolutely horrible! And I admit that mine isn't perfect, but I there's a certain level that my tolerance doesn't dip below and that email was one of them.

I did start regularly emailing a man that lives up in Alberta, Canada who is a hockey player and a welder. He was the most promising guy but I lost interest after he told me that he never wants his future wife to have kids because then she'll be fat. I have since deleted my profile and am going back to traditional dating.

I recently had one of the best dates of my life. He was incredibly handsome, gentlemanly and charming. We were laughing our guts off most of the night but we talked a little about why we're in our thirties and still single. We were sharing insecurities and being totally honest with each other about our feelings. It was one of the most refreshing conversations that I've had in a while. I shared that one of the reasons that I believe that I'm not settled in a relationship is that I feel that I don't deserve to be loved. I don't truly love myself. And in my brain I know that notion is completely false and that I have very desirable qualities that belong in a loving relationship. I know that I naturally possess some incredible traits that would truly nurture a companionship. But I self-sabotage myself everytime I get remotely close to forming a romantic attachment. I also went for a man that I knew from the very beginning nothing would ever happen because him not wanting me reinforced the fact that I was unlovable. Yeah, totally masochistic. When does what your mind tells you filter down to your heart and you start acting with confidence and let love happen? Alternately, my date told me that his problem is that he doesn't think that he's capable of loving the way that you should love someone in a marriage/relationship. He said that he always had this vision of being totally swept off his feet and suddenly everything will fall into place and he'll start loving this woman and do all the things that you're supposed to do to let a woman know that you'd do anything to make the relationship work. But because he hasn't experienced that, he's still single. But he thinks he's wrong about that because he said that if were to die tomorrow and had to stand before his maker and account for the reason that he's 30 and not married he doesn't think that his excuses would fly. He said that he's gone out with stunningly beautiful, smart, worthy women and for some reason he just doesn't pursue the relationship. He admitted that he's sure that he could've been happy with many of them but because he wasn't instantly smitten he didn't go for it and admitted that it's a fault. We also both agreed that we totally LOVE being single and that life is far easier as a single person than as a married person, and if marriage weren't a commandment we'd probably remain single forever (selfish, I know). Physical intimacy is also another selling point for us LDS folks.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though! I have specific goals for myself and trust that with some hard work my issues can be resolved, because they are not something that I want to take into a relationship. I've witnessed the destruction that personal insecurities such as the ones I have can create. I've also remained faithful to my God and because of that I know that everything will work out for the best. I've never been let down before.

Things Men Should Never Say To A Woman #66

"I saw you in the lunchroom earlier today totally pounding that burrito. Good job."

Uhm............thank you?

Giggle Words

A month or so ago, the Young Women and the leaders were asked to sing the rest hymn in sacrament meeting. We sang Walk Tall You're A Daughter of God and in the song there is a line that says, "Our Father held you in His arm so tender." I look over and a couple of the girls were giggling when we were approaching the word "tender." And I then I knew. It was a giggle word. A word that sounds so weird and somewhat gross that you just can't help but chuckle a bit. I was laughing with them about it later and they told me all the giggle words, most of which are found on this picture that is displayed in the lunchroom at the lab.
I posted the picture on Facebook and tagged Lucy and Hannah in it. The response was hilarious! These are the two little Chicken Nuggets. Yeah, they're as fun as they look.

I was asking some people at work what their giggle words were and the funniest one I got was knobs. It's now becoming my giggle word. I'm giggling right now as I write it. Tee Hee.

So what's your giggle word?

Atomically Awesome!

I would like to send a thank you out into the universe directed to the person who put a bag of atomic fireballs anonymously into my locker at work today. I deduce that the giver has one X and one Y chromosome because the note was written on a yellow sticky pad and the handwriting was barely legible and we all know that neat penmanship and the ability to access stationary at any moment is contained in the gender that has two X chromosomes (my middle name is sometimes Sherlock). The message said this:

Because I know you like fireballs, you little fireball.

One of the best feelings is knowing that someone was thinking about you.

Tapping The Kidney

Lunch was provided by the corporate team at work today and the drink option was 1.5 liter bottles of water. I work directly with 6 men and they all went down to partake before I did so I didn't sit with them. After I got back into the lab they were telling me that the challenge at the table was to drink the entire bottle of water before lunch was over. I joked that I would've smoked them all if I were there. I like talking the big talk. They asked me if I finished my water at lunch and I had to admit that I only finished 2/3rds of the bottle, but I didn't know that there was a challenge. We went down for a break later in the day and they placed 1.5 liters of freezing cold water in front of me. One and a half liters of water really isn't a big deal to me. I drink that much before and after my workouts at Absolute and my Bikram Yoga classes. But usually it's after I've sweat out alot of water and it's at room temperature. I chugged the bottle and only took it away from my lips once or twice, so I could say "How you like them apples!" after I was done. I slammed the empty bottle on the table as if I'd just won a very important lager drinking contest, said my quote and then immediately felt so sick. I rushed over to the trash can and held myself over it just waiting for a waterfall to come exploding out of my mouth. The guys were all laughing so hard and told me I'm only the champ if I can keep it down. I stifle it and strut back up to that lab with the confidence that comes with being The Challenge of the Day champ. My stomach returned to feeling normal after about an hour and that's the point that I started having to pee DESPERATELY. I would pee and then while I was washing my hands the pee feeling would return. There was no relief for my bladder. None. I had to run to the restroom after every extraction that I was doing during the afternoon. I couldn't even make it home from work without stopping at a store to use the restroom. I must have peed twenty times in the last few hours. But I'd do it again just to be the Challenge of the Day champ. It's a great honor.

I See A Little Silouetto of a Clam

I have always found the Muppets highly entertaining. Their quirky and slapstick humor has great appeal to me. I loved the TV shorts and all the movies, including "Muppets From Space," where Pepe the Prawn was first introduced to me and immediately embedded himself in my heart. I took piano lessons for a little while in elementary school and quit after I was able to play the theme songs from The Muppet Show and Star Wars. Those were the only songs that really mattered. I still know how to play them.

I was thrilled when I saw this music video that had the winning combination of the Muppets and my go-to karaoke/shower song. My Muppet look-a-like, Janice, makes her appearance about halfway through the video. If only I could rock out as hard as her. Someday. *Sigh*

The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody @ Yahoo! Video

I must confess that in my freshman year of college I was addicted to only one show - Muppets Tonight. It was on Sunday nights, had new Muppet characters, had a celebrity guest each week, and was HILARIOUS! I have no idea why it was cancelled. On Sunday nights I would have a crowd in my dorm room and we would all be eagerly anticipating the Muppet antics and celebrity sketches. Here are a couple that I found on youtube.

You all know how I feel about my brothers, and want to conclude with why my younger bro is so endearing. Rarely can you get him to actually show a real smile when taking his picture. He often does what I call the Muppet smile. See...

The mouth is hanging open in a mock smile. Like he's waiting for you to get the punch line in a joke.

He moved to Seattle last June with his wife and I miss them so much. When I think of Stefan, a picture of him with his Muppet smile comes up in my mind, and I smile my real smile.

Two More Swords

Ben placed first in his weight division for the gi competition and also won the men's gi open weight competition. Denver placed 2nd in the no gi competition for his weight class. Nate placed 2nd in gi for his weight class. Bret placed 3rd in gi for his weight class.

Coach Rob Handley and I with my trophies.

I participated in a submission only grappling tournament on November 14th and ended up doing well. I won the women's Middleweight gi and no gi competitions. I get so nervous before these things that I actually give myself an upset stomach. I really don't have any idea why I get that way, I realize that my competing is only for fun. I've never been involved in a sport where only you are responsible for the outcome. I don't deal with it too well. Aack!

I need to really improve myself before the next tournament. Even though I won, I didn't do it to the best of my ability. I know way more that what I displayed that day. Thanks to Coach Rob for the vote of confidence and for always being proud of me regardless of the outcome.

Click over to Chelsea's blog for more on how the whole team did. Thanks Chelsea, for all the support and encouragement!

Throwdown

A big huge congratulations to Cam, Steve and Eduardo for the awesome display of MMA last Friday night. Eduardo Rivera stepped in the cage first and after standing up with his opponent for a couple of minutes, he threw a hard right hook the guy went right out. KO! He lay on the mat for a good 20 to 30 seconds before he came to.
Camrann came out a few fights later and was up against Eddie Pelczynski. Eddie weighed in 4 pounds heavy and Cam still took the fight, of course. I saw a couple good exchanges and then the fight went to the ground. Eddie got a decent hold on a ankle lock but Cam got out of it. As Eddie tried to get off his back, Cam got to his back, rained down some hit and then sunk a wicked read naked choke. Eddie taps and the crowd went wild. Cam wins and loses graciously.
Steve "Razor" was looking to take the Lightweight title from Rad Martinez. He is one of the most entertaining fighters that you will ever see. The fight pretty much went the same as last year when Rad won the title. Rad is just an amazing wrestler and times the takedowns perfectly. His takedowns were just incredible! Probably the best that I've seen locally. It just seems to me that he has amazing control but doesn't know his submissions too well. Or passing the guard. Or transition from side control to mount. Just saying. I thought that Steve did really well on the ground and got out from Rad a number of times, which I would think is an amazing feat considering that Rad is an absolute monster! He's a chiseled statue of the human body. It's quite easy to identify every muscle group. The fight went for five 5 minute rounds. I can't imagine doing that at that level. You really can't even imagine the athleticism that these fighters have! It's mind blowing. Rad ended up winning by unanimous decision.
There was a great fight between Steve Siler and Enoch "The Animal" Wilson for the Featherweight title. It won Fight of the Night. It also went for five 5 minute rounds and ended in a unanimous decision for Siler. I've never seen so many submission attempts and escapes in one fight. The two of the them did such a great job.
Another fight that I really enjoyed was Jordan Smith vs. Bristol Marunde. Jordan usually fights at 205 lbs, but after totally dominating that weightclass he dropped down to the Middleweight division (185 lbs). He won with an awesome triangle choke in the first round. I talked to him a little bit before the show and asked him if he's going to move on to bigger promotions since he's had so much success locally. He said yes, but he couldn't tell me what it is yet and just to pay attention. I sure will.
Josh Burkman and Brandon Melendez faced off as the main event and Burkman won with a round 1 KO. I wanted to see more of this but it was finished early.
Most of the Absolute team sat together and we all had alot of fun cheering our friends on. The dark part of the night came when the crew brought me to my car and we saw that it was gone! I carpooled down to Orem with Miyo and we met by 90th south exit in Sandy. I parked in an empty lot next to a gas station there and apparently it was a private lot and my car was towed. Argh! It was 2 in the morning and we were trying to track down my car. It cost me $206 to get it out of the impound lot. It is so painful to hand over that kind of money for something so stupid as a parking mistake! Ben got the towing guy to do a little dance as I handed over the cash and we all got a good laugh out of that one. It made it better to be around such good friends that sympathized with me and were there to witness the guy tell me that he likes my coat and thinks that I'm pretty. The comments made by the group after that little exchange made me smile all the way home.

Tomorrow Night!

Come watch Camrann Pacheco, Steve Sharp, and Eduardo win their fights. These boys are looking so good. In the cage, that is. Alright, outside of it too.

"Only mediocre people are at their best all of the time."

Email From My Mother

Hello my darling daughter,

I found this quote from posh dating service ad that was in an airline magazine that I recently perused through.

"Undoubtedly however, if you are an attractive, successful, relatively private and selective individual, you have found that the more you have to offer, the more difficult it seems to find the person who is right for you." (You came to mind immediately.)

Yesterday was our 33rd wedding anniversary. Can you believe that? I asked Dad how he managed to stay married to me for that long?!!!!! He had a big embarrassed grin on his face. I gave him a complete set of all the Three Stooges films for a specific time period, and Dad picked up some frozen berries from Trader Joe's for me.

Keep the faith and keep on going. I love you lots. Mom

Chalk One Up For This Bantamweight

My friend Denver, was supposed to fight in a promotion up in Ogden on Friday night but that show was cancelled due to that fact that none of the other fighters besides Denver and his opponent had their blood tests done. It was disappointing to all of us. I was over at Cam's on Friday night and found out that Denver was offered a fight in the Ultimate Combat Experience. They were going to allow him to use his weigh in results from Thursday night. He won the fight two and a half minutes into the first round by ground and pound. I'm so proud of my pal. This is his start to being at the top of that weight class.
(He's the shorter one in the Sprawl shorts)

I love the takedown at 1:25. We've been working on that a ton in class last week.

FAIL

I know, I know! I'm falling flat on my face with the whole posting every day idea. The weekend was insanely, awesomely busy, but I have some fun posts to share this upcoming week because of it. Thank you for your patience with me and good night.

What Today Was Great For...

Corndogs, Diet Coke, and rhinoceroses (rhinoceroci?).

I left work early because it was WAY too beautiful outside not to, and took my 2 year old nephew to the zoo. I guess the animals were as excited as I was that it was Friday because they were all awake and active and playful. All I ever see them doing is laying on a log with a bored stare. They're all so old and decrepit.

• Denver, one of my teammates at Absolute, is fighting at Teazers in Ogden tomorrow night. He's a Bantamweight (135 lbs) and I can't hardly wait to see the beginnings of his domination in that weight class. I saw him at the gym this morning doing the last of his weight cutting and he looked great. He's confident and ready.


(taken from Denver's Facebook page)

• My abs were really sore last night and I was wondering it felt like someone ran over my mid-section with a motorcycle. And then I remembered the 400 push-ups and sit-ups that we did at the end of our conditioning round the other night after Muay Thai. Yep, that would do it.


• I've been doing morning sessions with Rob and Cam on Tuesdays and Thursdays and they have spent alot of time with me. I've been going in to work early and then leaving for a couple hours to train. On Tuesday, Cam rolled with me the whole time and taught me some of his best go-to submissions from the half man guard. Rob went what felt like a billion rounds with me this morning until I felt sufficiently smashed and exhausted. This is so much fun.
  
• The thought "I need more spandex" was recently on my brain. Yes, I wear little booty shorts and a fitted rash guard under my gi or my fight shorts. It hasn't been doing it's job of keeping me covered though. Quite often my shirt ends up around my armpits when I'm rolling and everything is just all hanging out. It's horribly embarrassing. So a wrestling singlet was purchased. It was sent to Absolute and as I was trying it on in the changing room I hear a chorus of shouts from the front desk telling me to come out and show them. Ha! The show is over guys. I'm keeping it all contained now.

The All Star Dog!

I desperately need to go to bed, so I'll just leave you with this image.
(salivating)...I can't wait for baseball season to start up again.

He's Got Some Moves!

I train at Absolute with Donny "Sleavehead" Raines and not only is he a great fighter but he is a great actor and film producer. Check this out.

Serious talent, I know. That was just an small excerpt from his movie I Know Kung Fu. Check out the full version (it's in two parts) here and here. It's a super fun time!
This is another that I enjoyed from Sleavhead's You Tube collection...

And let's not forget about his MMA highlights. His submissions are awesome! He's pretty sneaky with that armbar...catches me with it all the time.

Don't you wish Donny was your friend? Yeah, I'm the lucky one.

Movie Review - Gentlemen Broncos

My PIC, Ashley, got married and moved to Texas last Spring and left her younger sister, Emily, to fill in for her. If I can't have Ashley, Emily is a GREAT replacement. Emily's birthday was last Thursday and she got tickets to a pre-screening of Gentlemen Broncos, the new Jared Hess film. This is the same writer/director that did Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre. Do you remember seeing Napoleon in the theaters for the first time? Were you thinking what the hell was that? I sure did. Then you saw it a second time because some guys down the street rented the movie and since they were cute you decided to go and then realized that it actually is wicked hilarious and not just because the cute guys thought so. This is the potential that Gentlemen Broncos has. Emily and I walked out of the theater thinking this was the dumbest movie ever to be put into production. On the way home we were making fun of it and started to recall some of the more humorous parts. But the time we got back to her house we were laughing like a couple of crazies. The giggles wouldn't cease. This continued the next day through text messaging. So I think that I would recommend seeing this when it comes to theaters but go with low expectations because it does follow the Hess recipe for success - awkward hero and nerdy cast placed into a ridiculous plot. Enjoy.

There is also a great clip of Jemaine Clement (he's the best part of the movie) in character as Dr. Ronald Chevalier.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

I recently went out with some friends and it came up that I haven't been posting lately and they seemed rather disappointed. I guess that sometimes you get tired of blogging or start running out interesting ideas to write about, then your blog starts losing any kind of momentum and your fan base disintegrates and no motivation to blog exists. Well, let's see if I can resurrect this blog. I will post a new entry everyday during this new month. I can't promise that it will be interesting but something will be up on this site daily. And I never allow comments anymore because I haven't been reading or commenting on the blogs that I subscribe to and don't want others to feel obligated to comment on mine. It's not that I'm not enjoying your blogs, it's just that my job description has changed a bit and I'm in front of a computer for work much of the day and the last thing that I want to do when I come home is sit at a desk. I do appreciate those of you that keep your blogs going strong and someday I will catch up on your posts. But that's going to have to wait until I get sick or something tragic like that. So hold on to your hats, you're going to get sick of VTS by the end of November, I can promise you that.

Trying To Get My Pearl Jam On

One of my favorite bands EVER, Pearl Jam, is performing at the E Center this Monday night. One of my co-workers, Ben S, and I really, REALLY want to go. Problem is that tickets are $70 and I really can't justify spending that sort of money for one concert. But if I don't go how will Eddie Vedder catch my gaze and suddenly realize that I'm the love of his life and we end up living in eternal bliss? I know, total problem here. So, a local radio station has been promoting this concert and giving away tickets. I have been listening diligently to 94.9 ZROC for the past month. I have called in whenever I hear any Pearl Jam song regardless of whether or not it was an actual giveaway. I have called no less than 300,000,000,000,000 times. And two times last week while driving to work I was caller number 8 when they were looking for caller number 9. So close, yet so far away. I wanted to cry.

So here is what I am proposing...you guys spend all day tomorrow and Monday glued to the radio and win the tickets and I'll go with you! Seriously, I totally would. I'll even buy you dinner. I'm a great date. I promise. Ask anyone.

GAME ON!

Keepitupkeepitup

Last week during Muay Thai I was drilling with Dave Kamarov and toward the end of the last round, when all of my energy was spent, this is what I heard from him the entire last 30 seconds...
keepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepkeepitupitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupkeepitupyoucandoitepitupkeepitupyoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoityoucandoitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitdon'tquitalmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmostdonealmosttherealmosttherealmosttherealmosttherealmosttheredon'tquitonemore. DONE! And now you can go over there and puke.
Thanks, Komi.

Quick Question

Would someone please explain to me why my blog is getting 300 billion hits? Because, to my knowledge, I only have about 6.3 readers that frequent this blog regularly. Why this sudden popularity? Should I be flattered or should I be scared of ridicule and extreme web-mocking?

I Heart Facebook!

I recently received a friend request from someone that I don't know and this was his profile pic.
Friendship confirmed.

The Friday Night Acquisition

Oh, rapture!

Always Sunny AND Freaking Hilarious

I've never been one to be a follower of any TV series, mainly because I haven't owned a TV for the past few years. But I recently came across "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and totally love it. It's so quirky and unlike any other comedy series that I've ever seen. Sometimes I'll be sitting at my desk at work, think of something from the show and bust out laughing. It's got some good stuff.

I Feel Like Hell

I attended this seminar last Saturday.

(picture taken from the Absolute MMA blog)

My entire being is racked with soreness. It hurts to breathe. Anyone with strong drugs, please contact me immediately. Thank you.
What was really cool about this seminar was that I got to see my coach, Rob, in action. He is one awesome display of power. My jaw was on the floor as I watched him perform some really long combinations with intense force.
I walked away from this with a ton more knowledge. There were only 8 or 9 of us from Absolute there. Those from the other gyms outnumbered us. Not so cool. Those that didn't go really missed out on some solid fight information. I'm just telling it like it is.

Holy Hot Dang, Harley Edition

One of my co-workers rides a '76 Harley, Shovelhead hardtail to work occasionally. It is probably the coolest bike that I've ever seen. It always draws a crowd and alot of guys stop to take a look as they exit the lab. This is the view from my office.
Chad, the owner of the bike, and I are going to take a motorcycle certification class together soon. He's been urging me to get mine and he feels guilty that he's been riding bikes for so long (like 20 years) without a motorcycle license.

I know what you're feeling as you look at these pics! It does that for me too.

Paul (my awesome officemate) and I play a game called "Guess the Rider." The motorcycle parking area is right below our office window and we know who owns each motorcycle that is driven to work. When we hear an engine rev up we try to guess who it is without looking out the window. We are really, really good at this game. We have observed these bikes for a while now and know what size engines each has and what kind of noise it makes. There are probably 6 to 10 different motorcycles out there at any given time.

I Approve...

Rent it if you like Guy Ritchie movies.

Some Recent Faves

My parents recently came out for a visit from Massachusetts and we took Liesl to the "This Is The Place" monument park. I love how tender my dad is with little Liesl.
"This is AMAZING! I've never had anything more delicious in my ENTIRE LIFE!"

Liesl and Algy came over soon after Super bit the dust and were confused as to where the fishy was. My brother and I were laughing so hard and kept telling them to look harder. Awful, I know. But what good are kids if you can't have a little fun with them? Finally I had to tell them that he died. Liesl was displeased with the joke.

My favorite picture of us.

I love this pic because I love Emily so much.

This is my co-worker, Quint. There were no more cups in the community cup cupboard so he sits down with this measuring cup and declars that he was consuming exactly 300 mL of water during that lunch period. Hilarious! You had to be there.

Chicken Dinner!

Yeah! My good buddy, Dave Komarov, just won his fight at the Gladiator Challenge in Wendover last Saturday. He managed an armbar in the middle of the first round. He was landing some hard hits the whole round. I'm so surprised that he didn't get a KO.

The weekend prior to the fight we went to the zoo together and it was the best time that I've ever had there. Probably because he is a totally nerd and would get so excited about what he learned of the various animals. The best was how he would point our the size of the animals testicles in relation to their body size. Every single time. Toward the end, I would automatically look there and be amazed before he would make his comment.

Have you ever seen anyone come this close before? His reach is unreal, and he uses it well.

So precious.

Edward also fought in The Gladiator Challenge and won by referee stoppage due to strikes in the second round. It feels good to have some more wins for Team Absolute.
The main event was Jake "The Snake" Paul vs. Lee Doss and it ended quick! This show was called "Retaliate" because JTS and Lee Doss faced off against each other a while ago (JTS won) and it was said from Lee Doss' camp that the fight was called by the ref early. They had another go at it and JTS threw one punch after touching gloves and Lee Doss was rocked. This was seriously seconds after the bell. JTS followed it up with one or two more strikes once Lee was on the ground. That's it, the fight was called. What an ending to the hype that was generated.

I really love coming to these events and the caliber of local fighting is pretty good. You're usually guaranteed a couple of really good fights at these shows. Come next time.

Hmmm....I Think That I Will Go To This

Dear Will,

I'm sorry that I elbowed you in the face and made your nose bleed today. Apparently it is a goal of mine to see how many noses I can make bleed in the gym this year. Who's next?

Cedar City Fights

Two of my good friends were fighting down in Cedar City this weekend and a group of us from Absolute decided to go down and support them. Camrann was also supposed to be in this show but his opponent supposedly got into a car accident, which he couldn't prove, and consequently Cam's fight was cancelled. What was fun about this is that it reminded me of the first show that I ever went to. It was exactly 2 years ago when ODB had his first fight at the Weber County fairgrounds and this venue was identical to it. The cage was right in the middle of a rodeo arena and smelled like horse poop. There were rows of metal folding chairs in the dirt around the cage and bleachers that were too far away to really see anything well. The part of it all was that the fighters came out of a horse pen! What the...?!
Riley lost his fight in the first round by TKO. That was really disappointing and I feel that if Riley were to fight that guy 10 more times, he would win all of them. I hope he takes another fight soon and will finally see what he really can do. I'm so amazed at how hard I feel it when one of my teammates is defeated. My little heart physically aches. I hate it.
Kyle totally dominated. He barely got hit at all. He won in the second round with a TKO. His opponent had a wicked reach but Kyle worked with it really well. I just can't see Kyle ever losing. His focus and determination is unmatched.
All the guys were teasing me about when I'm going to get in the cage. I was joking around and said that when Denver (who hasn't had a fight yet) racks up five wins and when Kyle wins the All ARMY MMA competition, I'll get in the cage. Kyle steps up and he wants to shake on it. I refuse because I know that he really is capable of winning the All ARMY and Denver could quite possibly rack up 5 wins as soon as he starts getting fights. It was quite comical though. I really couldn't see myself in the cage at this time. It's just not what I want at the moment.

The group of us that went down to Cedar City Kyle and I after his fight

Riley and I after his fight. Poor guy, he just looks so unhappy and I just bound in and hug him and shove a camera in his face. What a champ.
The high class venue

Some of the high class people that we saw there. This girl's necklace was my favorite observation of the night...a rhinestone studded brass knuckle pendant.Me, Jessi (Ben's girl) and Ben. She became an instant BFF. I love those kind of women.

The ride down was awesome because I heard a ton more of those Man Stories that I love to hear. Ben is the KING of adolescent male stupidity. I'm surprised that he's lived as long as he has. Denver had some awesomely funny stories as well. One of my favorites was a game they played called "Cardboard Cat". Him and his friends would fashion a cat out of cardboard and other household crap and put tinfoil (or some other reflective material) on it as the eyes and then put it out in the middle of the road. Cars would just stop and wait there for the "cat" to pass and then get out of their vehicle only to find out that it was a fake. Hilarious.

The trip home was a little less lively. We were all up for quite a while the night before. After the fights we got a bite to eat and then headed out to a club for a while. We got back to the hotel and I went right to sleep whereas others continued the insanity.

We made it back safe and sound and all are excited in anticipation for our next trip, which is in 2 weeks, where we are going to Wendover to the Gladiator Challenge because Dave "Komi" is fighting in it.

Ben, leaning in all sexily. Grrr.

Denver and Sean (not to be confused with Sideshow Bob)

I think Denver had a bit of a rough night.

Kickin' it in the minivan.

R.I.P. Super

You've been a good buddy these past 7 years. I think I might cry all night. But I may rejoice in the fact that I no longer have to clean your tank or find someone to feed you when I go on vacation. Oh Super, you will always be in my heart and you will never be replaced. Ever.

Man Stories

I love man stories. It seems that they always have the funniest, most entertaining adventures to tell. Yesterday I was incredibly tired at work. I really could hardly concentrate on what I had to do. Two of my friends, Mark and Ben, came into my office and started telling me stories to help perk me up.

Ben had a surgery a few years ago because he broke either his tibula or fibula, while he attempted for the first time to drop into a halfpipe on his skateboard. As entertainment during his recovery, one of his buddies dropped into the halfpipe while strapped to a chair on wheels - like an office chair. It wasn't going too well, so they sent him in backwards and out of courtesy put a helmet on him. What the...?!

Mark was telling me about the time one of his buddies was riding his pedal bike as fast as he could away from his brother who was chasing him on his motorcycle. He was riding fast through some gravel and ended up wiping out. His brother then went ahead and ran him over on his motorbike, thereby breaking his femur! The guy had a cast on that went from his upper thigh all the way down to nearly his ankle. After about a week, the cast started itching real bad. So instead of grabbing a metal coat hanger or something, he finds the longest steak knife that he could find and proceeds to ease the itch by sticking it down in his cast. He not only injures himself while scratching the itch, but manages to lose the steak knife in the cast. He then had to go back to the doctor's office for the cast to be removed to find the knife and have a new one put on.

Most of the other tales included damage to the guys' "Willis and Doodle-Berries" if ya know what I mean. Those situations always make me explode with laughter. Like the story Ben told about how he and his buddy went somewhere on thier bikes and when they went to go home they saw that the seat was stolen off of his friends bike. He had to ride the whole way home standing up. Ben was messing with him and he slipped off his pedal and damaged his goods. So awful, yet SO hilarious.

I seriously love those kind of stories! I hope that when I have children that I have a few of those crazy boys. I can totally handle boys.

Nothing Injured Except My Pride

The other night I went for a late night run in the Cardio Theater at Gold's Gym. The movie that was playing was Australia with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. I've never seen it before and was quite entertained by it. I was nearing the end of my 6 miles so I was kinda tired and my feet started dragging a bit and the part came where Nicole Kidman's character, experiencing her first day in The Outback, was admiring the hopping kangaroo that were running along side the car that she was riding in. She's in love with the spectacle when suddenly you hear a gunshot and the kangaroo crumples while Nicole's face distorts with horror. It scared me so bad that I went flying off the back of the treadmill and ended up in a heap on the floor. I cannot remember the last time that I've been that embarrassed. There was only 2 other people in the room and once they saw I was ok, they started laughing so hard. Then I started laughing uncontrollably and we all had to pause our workouts and regroup. They said that they were startled too and probably would have had the same fate as me if they were on one of the treadmills and not the elliptical machines. We laughed some more and got back on our machines. I set out to finish my last mile and not 2 minutes later there was Hugh Jackman with his shirt off, pouring a bucket of water sexily over his perfecty tan and chiseled body. I bit my knuckles and then slipped in a puddle of my own drool, which once again sent me flying off the back off the machine. Fine, what really happened is that I athletically hopped onto the runners on the side of the treadmill and intently watched the scene so as to avoid any incident, which very well could have included saliva induced slippage. Oh man, Hugh Jackman is one incredibly hot specimen. I FINALLY saw Wolverine and was blown away. I love that kind of action adventure and amazing hotness that the movie displayed. The only thing that could've made it better would have been more of Ryan Reynold's character, Deadpool, in the movie. Yes, he did it for me.

Anyway, about a half hour after I finished my workout I found out that some friends were registered to do the Sandy City Midnight Moon 5K Run. I decided to join them and had a blast running 3 more miles in the crisp night air while donning glowstick bracelets and necklaces. The first mile was entirely uphill and I was sure that I was it was going to kill me, since I had just ran 6 miles and biked 12 miles in the hour previous to this race, but it didn't and the rest of the run was a very moderate course. I feel so lucky to have so many fun friends and a ton of opportunities to involve myself in plenty of different activities. I'm determined to stay active my entire existence and retain my fascination for life and learning.

My BFF

My niece is my little pal. She's three and I'm thirty, but we hang out like we're a couple of teenagers. I haven't been at Absolute training this week because of my wrist and have been filling my nights with fun things. I had no plans after work today, so I called Liesl and asked if she wanted to go to the movies.

Me: "Hey pal, I'm off of work a little early and want to know if you want to go and see a movie with me?"
Liesl: "Oh my gosh, sure! Are you coming to pick me up?"
Me: "Yeah, of course. I'll be there in about ten minutes. Is that cool?"
Liesl: Yeah, I just got some chocolate on my dress so I have to get changed, but then I'll be ready."
Me: "Alright, I'll see you in a little bit."
Liesl: "Oh my goodness, this is going to be so much fun!"
Me: "I know, right?"
Liesl: "I know, right!"

Seriously, she's only three and is that articulate!

Look at how teenagerish we are...self portraits at every outing. She's even getting good at taking them herself.

Eating popsicles on a bench outside the movie theater.

In the car before heading to the zoo.
Hanging out at home and playing Bingo.

FAKEOUT!

Due to an unfortunate injury while training last night, I won't be competing tomorrow. Too bad, so sad. But there's always next the next tournament to focus my efforts on.

In Case You Wanted to Come...

I'm competing in a grappling tournament at the Throwdown ETC this Saturday, 01 August 2009. Fun, huh?! It starts at 9am and the women's division is usually first. The address is 1640 South State Street, Orem UT. Chris Kennedy and Ben Garner from Absolute MMA are also competing. There may be a few others from our team that I don't know about. In any case it should be awesome!

Could I Possibly Be Any Girlier?

Look at what I just stumbled upon.......

I love it. I want it. I must have it.