And On To A Better Day

I woke up this morning, got ready for church, walked out to my car and nearly barfed from an overwhelming skunk smell. It must have recently unloaded. Holy massive reekage, Batman! I then realized that I left my car windows down last night and I wouldn't have been surprised if you told me that you saw him climb into my car and then lift his tail. It was beyond awful.

I then went to church and was asked to substitute for the CTR class. I hardly make it to Young Women's anymore because Primary is constantly asking me to fill in. The lesson was on being obedient. I don't think the lesson hit home for these 8 year olds. I'd venture to say that it had the opposite effect. I felt like I was teaching circus animals. Oh, and did I mention that there were 9 of them? No? Yes, NINE. How in the hell are you supposed to teach nine 8 year olds? You don't. You feed them fruit snacks and order them to hop on one foot until they keel over from exhaustion. And the best part of the class was when one of them suddenly got a bloody nose from hopping on one foot for so long. His nose became a faucet of blood. I've never seen so much blood gush from a nose before. Ack! It was all over his shirt and all over his scriptures and his hands and the chair. I was going to hurl. That horrible metallic smell was making me so nauseous. I don't ever remember reacting that way to blood. I was dry-heaving just looking at him. So I took him to the bathroom and asked the other kids to sit tight for a sec. When I came back a couple of the boys were "finger-painting" with the blood on the chair. Whaaaaat! I started dry heaving again and took the other boys to the bathroom while explaining to them what blood-borne pathogens were. They were pretty interested in that discussion. Fakeout. They weren't interested at all. What they were interested in was trying to touch me with the bloody hands and laughing hysterically when I freaked out everytime a chubby little bloody finger came near me. I'm starting to heave a little just thinking about the whole situation.

I managed to make it through sacrament meeting without any incident. I then went out to my car and was again overwhelmed with residual skunk smell. I got home and as I was putting my key in the door, I got a whiff of some raw chicken trimmings that have been incubating in the garbage can outside the back door for a couple of days. That was the last straw. I hurled right there near the back door. Lovely Sunday story, no?