My Pal. My Bro.

Stefan Ulrich Alexander

(a name doesn't get much sexier than that)

It's my brother. Younger brother. I call him Stefy. He calls me Nessy. We're pretty much best friends. And thugs.

A chuck kick? Constipation? Take a guess.

It's been a recent realization that we don't hang around each other because of familial obligation, but because we genuinely enjoy each others friendship. Whoa! When did that happen? His wife has been out of town a few times in the last couple of months, leaving me and Stef here to have our own fun. Mostly that has consisted of eating gyros from Yanni's and watching Jazz games.

Last week I got a tutorial on ridiculously expensive automobiles. And I think I fell in love. With the Mercedes McLaren SLR.

Holy hot dang!

After being informed of its engine and speed capabilities, I knew that I had to have one. Now I just need to find 450,000 dollar bills somewhere. Because its not under my mattress. Though I do make a seven figure income. If you count the numbers that come after the decimal. No matter, you really can't beat driving around a '92 Volvo.

Stef really wants the new Camaro. The one that made its debut on Transformers. Drool. Check it out:

Wouldn't you just want to drive around all day? And then make out in it?

Note: Stef likes to call it a "marrow". And he sounds so cool saying it like that. If I try, I just end up sounding like a big dork.

Do you want to know what the most expensive car in the world is? Brace yourselves. It's pretty awesome.

The Bugatti Veyron. Isn't the name intense? I think I want to name my firstborn Veyron. Anyway, guess how much this street legal Formula One car costs? If your guess is in the range of more than you'll ever make in your lifetime, you're probably right. Wait for it...$1,700,000! I might have to wait a few years before purchasing this. You know, because I don't want it to be an impulse buy.

Do you want to know which car I originally fell in love with? A '67 GTO. My dad used to have one, but sold it back when I was really young. I saw it in the movie Bandits and just knew that we were meant for each other. I can vividly picture myself driving this car. Someday.

Back to my brother.

The guy is a champ. Mark, Nik and I, were born right in a row. One year after the next. Stef came 5 years later. The little guy worked hard to keep up. He refused to accept the fact that he was too little to do the things that his older siblings were doing. He was friends with all our friends. He became really athletic and could hold his own on anything we did. And was usually better than us too. The kid is impressive.

This is how I remember him:

The skinny little punk.

He LOVES Super. When he comes over, he'll make a special stop at Super's tank and talk to him a little bit. Maybe give him a pinch of fish flakes. Just in case I was starving him or something.

Funniest thing. I mentioned that I hadn't seen Beowulf yet and that we should rent it. He looked at me sternly and told me never, ever to see it. He then proceeds to tell me of graphic limb ripping and dismemberment and then the eating of the dismembered head. His eyes were all wide as he retold the images that were burned into his brain. Man, it was so funny. So don't see Beowulf. This is your warning.

Stef's a good pal. We just signed up as a team for my company's annual golf tournament. He's setting goals for improvement so that we don't look foolish when it's tournament time.

Simply put, the guy is awesome.