The Most Uplifting Thanksgiving Post Of All Time

Hi.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have you been to Hogle Zoo for the Feast of the Beasts? An 800 pound pumpkin was put into the elephant area and the elephants went to town on it. They stomped it and then gorged themselves. I've never seen an elephant eat before. It was incredible to see how they use the end of their trunk to pinch of a piece of pumpkin and shovel in in their mouths. I didn't realize how strong those trunks can be. Fascinating.

Raw meat was put into a big pumpkin shell and then the tiger was released. He was seriously mad because a leopard was in that same habitat for its feast an hour before. He wandered around marking his territory for quite a while. He then rushed the pumpkin. I don't think I would get between a tiger and his food anytime soon. I'll need a bit more ninja skills before I'd attempt that.

I'm a zoo-aholic. I go multiple times a month. I have a membership. So if you want to go, you just let me know. You could name an animal, any animal, and I can take you right to it. Probably with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back while hopping on one foot. I'm pretty talented.

I went last weekend with my 3 year old niece (Liesl) and 1 year old nephew (Algy). Algy likes to ride the train, so we went on the train tour of the park. As we approached the turkey vultures the narrator was telling us that they are also called "The Wieners of the West". I was laughing my can off and the guy sitting in front of me turned around and gave me that quizzical "what's so funny" look. I told him and then he clarified that the narrator actually said that they are called "The Cleaners of the West". I was embarrassed.

Also, have you ever seen an elephant take a tinkle? I liken it to an open fire hydrant. It was incredible. Simply fascinating. I hope you get to have that experience sometime. I really do.

Look at this guy. He obviously is experiencing the joy that is contained in naked hammock sleeping. Not a care in the world.

So after the zoo I went to my brother's house and for The Big Thanksgiving Dinner. We're not big turkey eaters so we went with Thanksgiving Burgers! Beef, not turkey. They were insanely delicious. That's our tradition. Don't hate.

After dinner I was playing with my niece and she kept telling me that her stomach hurt. I didn't know what to do so I just rubbed her tummy for a little while and told her that I was using my magic powers to make her bellyache go away. Right then she hurled all over me. I'm not exaggerating when I say that this was pipeline throwup. Her entire mouth-hole was was expelling the nastiness. This was a massive pukage. A pukage that could go down in history. I just stared at her in horror as I fought the down the urge to puke at the sight and smell of her puke. I kept telling myself that it's mind over matter. As soon as the urge passed and I was ok, she puked all over me again. The same volume of the pink, stringy, chunky mess! I was going to lose it. I turned my head and stared at the opposite wall until I could contain myself again. My brother grabbed her and carried her to the kitchen. Just before they reached the sink she hurled one more time. It was so incredibly disgusting. I'm sorry for telling you but I just really felt the need to have you know.